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April 26, 2019

The Seftonless Morning Report (Friday April 26, 2019)


Good morning Horde. Mr. Morning Report is off on special assignment. Rumor has it that the AoSHQ Dental Plan is alive and well in Juarez, Mexico.


  • More text messages between the FBI's Peter Strzok and Lisa Page are released. Subject? Spy recruitment for the White House.

  • Another day. Another gaffe by AOC. She's the gift that keeps giving.

  • Never mind the guard dog when you have a guard parrot.

  • It was only a matter of time, The CIA now has an Instagram account. If I say how retarded will I get banned before I join?

  • You can thank the anti-vaxxer movement and illegal aliens pouring into our country.
    Are you 29 or older? You may need another measles booster shot.

  • She is a vile and despicable human being. Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) endears herself to doctors and nurses with hateful accusations.

  • One of America's favorite treats isn't looking too good at the moment. I scream. You scream. We all scream for ice cream and we may scream after eating it. Listeria on the horizon.

  • You might be able to keep your doctor. But you won't be able to keep your health insurance due to Obamacare.

  • But. But. But. But. Things were different then than now. And I'm a better millionaire than the people I was referring to mutters Sen. Bernie Sanders (Communist-Vermont)

  • NBA star John Havlicek of the Boston Celtics passes away at age 79.

  • Will the Inbred Virtue Signalers Royal Family console and meet with the Sri Lanka Easter bombing victims? Time will tell.

  • Former tiger trainer is attacked by.........drum roll please, a tiger.

  • Will the "History Police" be consistent? Why just remove Kate Smith's statue when we can take back awards earned by Cassius Clay Mohamed Ali.

  • The paste eating Joe Biden has entered the presidential race. He also has the lead, for the time being.
  • Speaking of having the lead. Biden also has the Creepy Porn Lawyer vote.

  • Politics does indeed make strange bedfellows.

    Today's feel good story of the day? "Then I seen a young man at the door, struggling to get out, and he was being shot at quite a few times.”

  • New York's mayor has another goofy idea. Let's ban hot dogs and other processed meats.

  • ICYMI President Trump was on the phone with Sean Hannity last night.

  • With Republicans like these who needs Democrats?

  • "They" say that voter fraud is a myth. If it were why has the mayor Edinburg, TX and his wife been arrested?

  • How involved was the Obama Administration with Russia in the 2016 election? Little by little information is forthcoming and it isn't looking good for the JEF.

  • Lucidity is overrated. And Baltimore remains a joke.

  • As Ace would say, "LOL get fucked" Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-SomaliaMN) was so butt hurt by PDT she went crying to @Jack

  • What won't California tax?

  • Brazil has a penis amputation problem. Things you learn here.

  • Memorable? Sure, if you are a Genius Award Winner.

    And on that note, let's take on Friday.

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    posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 07:28 AM

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