"Gropin' Joe" Biden Accused of Sexual Harassment

Come over here, littl' Darlin',
let Doctor Joe measure how you're growin'

He's been photographed smelling hair and touching women a lot, but this is the first woman that I know of to accuse him of sexual harassment on the basis of this weird, unwanted touching.

I found my way to the holding room for the speakers, where everyone was chatting, taking photos, and getting ready to speak to the hundreds of voters in the audience. Just before the speeches, we were ushered to the side of the stage where we were lined up by order of introduction.

As I was taking deep breaths and preparing myself to make my case to the crowd, I felt two hands on my shoulders. I froze. "Why is the vice-president of the United States touching me?"

I felt him get closer to me from behind. He leaned further in and inhaled my hair. I was mortified. I thought to myself, "I didn't wash my hair today and the vice-president of the United States is smelling it. And also, what in the actual fuck? Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?" He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head. My brain couldn't process what was happening. I was embarrassed. I was shocked. I was confused.

There is a Spanish saying, "tragame tierra," it means, "earth, swallow me whole." I couldn't move and I couldn't say anything. I wanted nothing more than to get Biden away from me.

John Ekdahl points out that this has been going on forever. And while the media has sometimes made somewhat-embarrassed jokes about it, they've never actually seriously grappled with the question, "Why can't Joe Biden keep his hands off of women, or sometimes very very young girls, and what on earth is he thinking gives him the right to paw and sniff and nuzzle strangers?"

He just never stops. Gropin' Joe Biden never stops groping.

Thanks to Tami.

PS: Please pass on "Gropin' Joe" to Trump or Trump Jr. I think it's a winner.

posted by Ace of Spades at 05:22 PM

| Access Comments