Saturday Overnight Open Thread (3/23/19)

Doug Pender lived all his life in the Florida Keys and is on his deathbed and knows
the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, are with him.

He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place
to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:

"My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses."

"My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments between mile markers 100 and Tavernier."

"My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Center."

"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bay side on Blackwater Sound."

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as
Doug slips away, the nurse says,

"Mrs. Pender, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property."

The wife replies, "The asshole had a paper route!"
H/T Hrothgar

"Ahhh! there's a HOWARD JOHNSONS! Wanna eat some CLAMS?"
Iconic restaurants that have faded away.............

Quite the water park ride..............

Someone forgot everything he learned in Physics class. (Fun Video)

Don't you have to have a job to take paternity leave?

This just in: Prince Harry is preparing to drop everything when Baby Sussex arrives.

In a recent interview with Us Weekly, Dickie Arbiter—Queen Elizabeth’s former press spokesman—revealed that he has no doubt the 34-year-old prince will take paternity leave when his wife, Meghan Markle, gives birth.

“It’s a modern thing,” he said. “Prince William did it for his children and Harry’s going to do it for his, when his child is born. I mean, the older generation didn’t do it. The older generation just got on with it. But it’s a new thing. People do it, William did it and Harry is going to do it.”

I get excited when I find loose change in the couch cushions. Imagine the excitement these fellows felt!

A pair of men doing cleanup work in Nebraska floodwaters discovered a "magic fridge" in an empty field that was filled with ice-cold beers.

Kyle Simpson and Gayland Stouffer said they were heading back toward the highway after a day of cleanup work on Simpson's land, near Schuyler, when they spotted a black box that had apparently been dropped into the empty field by the flooded Platte River, which had since receded from the field.

The Fight For $15 has produced collateral damage. Just another reason to avoid McDonald's.

The Metro published findings today from an investigation they did on random samplings of U.K. McDonald's touch screens. The article was aptly titled "Poo Found on Every McDonald’s Touchscreen Tested."

Born on this day March 23, 1949 - Ric Ocasek
American singer, songwriter, musician Ric Ocasek, The Cars, who had the 1978 UK No.3 single 'My Best Friend's Girl.' Their 1984 US No.3 & 1985 UK No.4 'Drive' was used as part of the soundtrack for the Live Aid concert. via thisdayinmusic.com

And back by popular demand...................

Tanya

Do you remember Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom? There was ‎Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler. Meet the new Jim without a tranquilizer gun.

This is the terrifying moment a bear mauls a forest officer and chases him into a reservoir during a rescue operation that went wrong.

Forest protection officer, Kumar, had been trying to drive the bear away from Velugodu Reservoir in Andhra Pradesh, India, and take it to the forest.

Kumar and other officers had cornered the bear and were trying to tie it up with ropes when it broke free and began its attack.

Until pot is legalized we will always have Genius Award Winners.

INDIAN RIVER COUNTY — When burning a big trash pile behind your home, the smoke may attract attention.

Particularly if the big trash pile includes marijuana plants and leaves.

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by the Mueller Report.

Notice: Posted with permission by Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC. Just remember margins aren't the only things that can be blown.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:45 PM

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