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March 05, 2019

"Captain Marvel" Review Embargo Lifts
Plus: How Marvel #Whitewashed the Original Black Female Captain Marvel Into the Flatass #BasicBecky Brie Larson Substitute

Despite the fact that it has been decreed by our Leftist Cultural Overlords that you are not allowed to dislike this movie, in fact, a lot of critics, including leftwing ones and female ones, think it's either meh, or outright bad.

One of Marvel's worst efforts, most critics seem to say. One I think even says it was Marvel's worst movie.

Jim Treacher did a funny twitter thread "calling out" the insufficiently #Woke movie reviewers who dared to say Captain Marvel is meh or outright bad. These are obviously all Manbaby Incels Who Hate Women, including the women.

For crying out loud, even Vox pans this movie, and Vox was genetically engineered to be more #Woke than physics permit.

And on top of that, even these lackluster scores are themselves inflated. People know they're Not Allowed to not like Captain Marvel, so you see a lot of supposedly "positive" reviews which sound a lot more mixed than positive reviews usually read.

They did the same thing with the Fake Ghostbusters. SJW reviewers bent over backwards to claim in their headline and concluding line that that abortion was a "a blast" and a "fun, lighthearted romp" or whatever bullshit they were required by their studio minders and ideological hygiene officers to claim, but then in between the headline and last sentence, they used a lot of words explaining how much of it didn't work.

By the way, Grace Randolf says you definitely do not need to see this movie to see Endgame, rebutting is a very stupid rumor that some Captain Marvel shills seem to have been seeding the internet with. I'll SPOIL the mid and end credits for you: The stupid cat coughs up a hairball which turns out to be the Tesseract, which I guess explains why SHIELD had it in the first movie? (Did I care? Did I even wonder about this? No. This is like explaining to me how Han Solo got his last name.)

The last scene is Captain Marvel showing up at Avengers HQ in a very short scene taken right from Endgame, to ask only, "Where is [Nick] Fury?"

That's it-- those are your critical links to Avengers lore and Endgame. I spoiled it for you on purpose so you wouldn't feel the need to shell out money to see this piece of shit.

Sorry not sorry. I feel Disney's marketing team is being deceptive in inserting those two nonsense scenes so that fanbois/shills can say "The movie really explores some hidden Thanos lore!" and "This movie really links to Endgame!"

I saw Disney Shill John Campea making this claim, for example.

Um, no. It contains a very brief scene of Captain Marvel showing up, which you'll also see in Engame anyway (just as you saw Nick Fury recruit Steve Rogers for Avengers at the end of Captain America and then in The Avengers), and a really dumb cutesy-pootsie bit of nonsense about the stupid cat having eaten the Tesseract at some point.

Those are your "big links to Endgame."

Two videos to enjoy: First, Ethan Van Sciver goes through some of the crappy reviews digested at Metacritic.

Second, a few days ago Tim Pool talked about a claimed "leak," possibly fake, possibly real, he saw online, maybe at Reddit.

The leak basically claimed this:

Marvel pushed to get Captain Marvel in both Avengers Thanos movies. The Russo Brothers resisted, only wanting the real, established Avengers in them. They compromised: She wouldn't be in the first, but would be in the second.

But there's news on that front too, this "leak" claims. Marvel is not confident about Captain Marvel -- their "social media numbers" indicate the film might not be a hit -- and so they ordered two cuts for Avengers: Endgame. One with Captain Marvel playing an important part in defeating Thanos, and one -- in case the audience rejects this overpowered Mary Sue -- in which Captain Marvel's participation is minimized and some of her actions are performed instead by Captain America and Black Widow.

According to the leak, Brie Larson and her talent agency fought hard against making this second cut of Engame -- Grrrl Power!!! -- but Marvel/Disney made it anyway.

Just in case.

Obviously, the idea is that they'll run that second cut if Captain Marvel isn't a big hit.

Let's make it so.


Woke SJW Marvel Not Woke Enough to Make Captain Marvel Black: A commenter asked, "Since I don't know Marvel comics much, but wasn't Capt. Marvel originally a *dare I say it* guy? "

Well, first of all, Captain Marvel was originally the character you probably now know as "Shazam."

Captain Marvel/Shazam was sued out of existence by DC Comics for infringing, supposedly, on Superman (this was back in the early days, when Superman's generic power set and look was considered novel).

The Captain Marvel book was retired.

Years later, copyright ran out on the name, and Marvel did a quickie (bullshit) character they called "Captain Marvel" just to use the name themselves.

Marvel couldn't swipe the character itself -- I think DC owned the character, either because of the settlement or just buying out Fawcett Comics after they went bankrupt. DC wasn't doing anything with the character or the name -- allowing Marvel to pickpocket the use of the name and trademark, which they promptly did.

Bizarrely, of course, it turns out DC is putting out its first Captain Marvel/Shazam movie in just a few weeks after Marvel's competing Captain Marvel movie. The rule is, I think, that DC can call Captain Marvel by his name ("Captain Marvel") inside the book or movie, but they can't title the book or movie that. The title they use is "Shazam," even though that's not the name of the character, that's the magic phrase he speaks to turn into Captain Marvel.

But that's a whole 'nother story.

The Marvel "Captain Marvel" also had a generic power set not too dissimilar to Superman's, AND a costume of blue, red, and gold, but by this point (the sixties), this stuff was considered common and non-novel and you couldn't sue over it.

They killed that version of Captain Marvel (he got cancer), and the mantle passed to....

Monica Rambeau, the real female Captain Marvel, the first female Captain Marvel, and a leader of the Avengers in the 80s.

When Marvel wanted to get more #Woke in 2012, they decided they wanted a female superhero as their flagship character.

They decided it would be Captain Marvel.

But instead of going to the established original female Captain Marvel, they chose a white woman.

Of course. I mean, SJW Woke Marvel is woke, but they're not that woke, you know? You can't have a black woman as your flagship character.

So instead of going back to Monica Rambeau, they did some retconning and claimed Carol Danvers, who had been a character called Ms. Marvel (so feminist!), was now the official Captain Marvel.

Monica Rambeau appears as a child in this movie, in order to appease fans of Monica Rambeau, and say, "Oh no, we'll make her a superhero in the next one."

But not as Captain Marvel. Not as "Marvel's flagship character."

Just as a Falcon-like sidekick in the next #CaptainMarvelSoWhite Brie Larson movie.

Talk about Black Erasure!

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