Study: Journalists Drink Too Much, Are Bad At Managing Emotions, And Operate At a Lower Level Than the Average Person

This study is from 2017, but it's never been more true or more salient.

It is based on a small study, so I'd like to offer this caveat: it is undoubtedly 100% true.

Journalists' brains show a lower-than-average level of executive functioning, according to a new study, which means they have a below-average ability to regulate their emotions, suppress biases, solve complex problems, switch between tasks, and show creative and flexible thinking.

They score very highly on the Repeat What Other Journalists Are Saying on Twitter Scale, however. Among the most tractable, programmable people on earth, in fact.

The study, led by Tara Swart, a neuroscientist and leadership coach, analysed 40 journalists from newspapers, magazines, broadcast, and online platforms over seven months. The participants took part in tests related to their lifestyle, health, and behaviour.

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The results showed that journalists' brains were operating at a lower level than the average population, particularly because of dehydration and the tendency of journalists to self-medicate with alcohol, caffeine, and high-sugar foods.

Brian Stelter just emailed me to say, "Hi, my name is Tater, and I likes me some taters."

Forty-one percent of the subjects said they drank 18 or more units of alcohol a week, which is four units above the recommended weekly allowance. Less than 5% drank the recommended amount of water.

However, in interviews conducted in conjunction with the brain profile results, the participants indicated they felt their jobs had a lot of meaning and purpose...

You don't say? No shit, really?

Didn't they just spend $5.5 million on a Super Bowl ad praising themselves?

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Journalists scored lower on:

Executive function. As well as the traits mentioned above, low scores for executive function also suggest poor sleep, nutrition, exercise, and mindfulness. Many participants reported they had no time for breaks while working.

You need high executive function to code, which is probably why they get so angry when you suggest that they learn to code.

Also, executive function is important in controlling one's emotions, which is why the explode like infants when you suggest they learn to code.

Silencing the mind, which is related to the ability to have thoughts without getting distracted by them, or a powerful ability to focus. Low scores indicate the opposite, suggesting journalists have a hard time preventing themselves from worrying about the future or regretting the past.

Um, and spending all day on Twitter and planning their next #SickBurn Tweet and their next Twitter Clapback.

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The results, however, showed that the journalists were on average no more physically stressed than the average person. The blood tests showed that their levels of cortisol -- known as the stress hormone -- were mostly normal.

That's because, while they do deal withe pressure of short turn-arounds and quick deadlines, they have a powerful psychological advantage that helps them manage stress: they are innately very, very lazy and work as little as humanly possible which turns out to be even less work than the average human would guess is possible.

So that helps.

Related: I Have Seen the Media's Future, and It Involves Writing Checks With Lots of Zeroes to the Many Victims of Its Defamations and Witch-Hunts: Mark Hemingway at the Federalist.

I don't think they'll be able to plead Impaired Executive Function as a defense, though it would amuse me to see them try.

Thanks to this guy:

posted by Ace of Spades at 06:10 PM

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