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February 07, 2019

Hollywood SJWs and Cowards Have Driven Anyone Worth Having Away From Hosting the Oscars;
The Oscars Spins That Its "Host-Free" Format Will Increase Interest, Due to "Mystery"

Yeah, that's how they sell movies, too. Not with named stars. But with a cast of nobodies, relying on "the mystery" of "Who the fuck are these people?" to put meat in the seats.

So this is the stupid bullshit some stupid NPCs are selling you.

I'd almost rather see Captain Marvel.

The Oscars will indeed be hostless, ABC finally confirmed on Tuesday. The cloud of uncertainty that has hovered over the ceremony has actually been good for the show because it's kept it in the public conversation, new ABC Entertainment president Karey Burke said.

Burke discussed the telecast fleetingly at the TV Critics Association tour, stressing that a top priority was to hold the ceremony to a "brisk" three hours. In the past, the Academy Awards have often run more than 3 and a half hours, which has been perceived to be a drag on ratings.

When Hollywood knows a movie is going to be bad, they go into heavy editing mode to make it as short as possible, too. Both on the theory that at least if it's shorter, there's not so much badness to annoy people with, and on the theory that you really have to jam in as many showings as possible (which requires shorter run-times) before poisonous word-of-mouth leaks out.

As Maebe Funke said of her super-shortened version of the stinker "Dangerous Cousins:" "It's the best 57 minutes you'll ever spend at the movies."


Despite the messiness surrounding Kevin Hart's aborted role as Oscar host -- and the Academy staying mum about its plans -- Burke appeared to invoke a glass-half-full philosophy, saying "the mystery" surrounding this year's ceremony "has been compelling," while demonstrating that viewers remain invested in the awards.

Which I take to mean: We're trying to stoke that rumor that the cast of The Avengers will be gang-hosting, but we can't actually say that, because we couldn't strong-arm them into hosting this piece of shit.

What They Promised: The Cast of The Avengers

What You Would Have Taken: Scarlet Johanson in a side-split dress

What You Get: The second unit stand-in cat from "Captain Marvel"

Open thread. Night!

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