Babylon Bee: "Least Masculine Society in Human History Decides Masculinity is a Growing Threat"

This is completely, absolutely, horrifyingly true.

U.S.--As society becomes increasingly dominated by nerds, hipsters, and computer programmers, people have fixated on what they think is our biggest problem: masculinity.

"It's just toxic and causes nothing but problems," said Elisha Mcewen, a vegan activist and no threat whatsoever to spiders or tight jar lids. "I was sharing my feelings on masculinity with other men in my drum circle, and we all agreed that if we ever encountered masculinity, we would run far away."

Masculinity is said to have in the past been the cause of such things as violence, war, bullying, defeating the Nazis, carving society out of untamed wilderness, and landing men on the moon, but now masculinity is being driven out of society to make sure nothing like those things ever happens again. However, there are reports that masculinity still lurks out there, which is a source of anxiety to modern men and causes them to have upset tummies.

There's more at the link. A couple of big jokes I was too ethical to steal.

Oh, and because I get a lot of questions about this, I thought I'd link this as well:

Mmm, savory.

posted by Ace of Spades at 01:48 PM

| Access Comments