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Food Thread: A Picture IS Worth A Thousand Words...But Not Bites!

Tague Photo

We haven't had a burger in awhile, so I went looking, and found this spectacular one! I would quibble with the lettuce, but everything else looks perfect. And oh, that egg! Those fries look great too.

Food photography is amazing. Take a look at the photos at the link for some wonderful examples of what is, at least for me, a very difficult thing to do. I take pictures of my food all the time, and I toss most of them because they just don't do the food justice. But this guy makes everything look delectable, and yes, I am jealous.

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This is not an endorsement, because I think this recipe is just weird. There are enough variations on chocolate cake that we don't have to add discordant ingredients simply to do something new and different. That is not to say that I don't appreciate the melding of red wine and chocolate (dark chocolate of course), because I do. When it happens in my mouth after a bite of chocolate and a sip of wine.
red wine chocolate cake
Hell, this might be great, although I don't think so. But I am sure that it is fine, because most dense chocolate cakes are at least good if they haven't been dried out by an overzealous baker. Yes...I am referring to my flourless chocolate cake from last weekend.
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Don't make this one either! Easy broccoli, chilli and lemon spaghetti
I disapprove of broccoli in spaghetti, especially when they got everything else pretty much correct in this recipe. Well, I would use pistachios or cashews instead of almonds, but that's just being picky.

Onion, garlic, red chilis, some lemon zest and juice, parsley and a handful of toasted nuts. It's perfect and simple and doesn't need the competing texture and vegetal flavor of broccoli.

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This chef has a wonderful, easy and informative way of writing, and he should be an example for others. And telling you what happens when you screw up something is actually a useful bit of information, at least for me. I burned my roux once and added the trinity before I realized that the nasty smell in the kitchen wasn't the older brat coming back from practice.
How to Make a Roux
And watch the video. It's pretty clear that he is a Moron. And a damned fine chef!

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So...all of you are on tenterhooks, waiting for the next installment of "Dildo's Bread Baking..A Journey Into The Unknown." I used a standard sourdough recipe, but it just didn't do it for me, so I really did jump into uncharted territory. I just winged it. No measuring, no timing of the rises, just enough of each ingredient (there aren't that many!) to make sense, and timing based on how the dough looked.

And it worked! I did use the same bake technique and time, which turned out to be the biggest flaw! Next time I will bake longer, and continue to play with the hydration. What? Hydration? Oh...that's a fancy and pompous word that people use to describe the wetness of the dough.

I AM BAKER...HEAR ME ROAR!

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I like squash, but it's not something that is very popular around the table at Chez Dildo, so I don't make it too frequently. But I grabbed a small acorn squash a few weeks ago because it...um...looked good? How the hell do you shop for squash?

Anyway, I cut it in half, sliced a bit off the bottoms to stabilize the halves on the pan, scooped out the seeds and thought..."GARLIC!" So I melted more butter than I needed, added some a lot of crushed garlic and a pinch of salt and pepper, then brushed it on the flesh of the squash. I roasted them in a 425 degree oven for about 30-40 minutes ( I don't remember), and that was it. I must have picked out a wonderful squash, because it tasted great! No idea how to do that again, so any advice would be much appreciated.

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This is one of my favorite foods, and I will undoubtedly order it if I see it on a menu, but for some strange reason I rarely make it, and that is stupid. It's easy!

Julia Child’s Chicken Liver Mousse

• 2 c. chicken livers
  
• 2 tbsp. minced shallots
  
• 2 tbsp. butter
  
• 1/3 c. brandy
  
• 1/4 c. whipping cream
  
• 1/2 tsp. salt
  
• 1/8 tsp. allspice
  
• 1/8 tsp. pepper
  
• Pinch of thyme
  
• 1/2 c. melted butter
  
• Kosher salt and pepper

1. Clean and trim the livers of any connective tissue and blood spots. Cut the livers into 1/2″ pieces.
2. Melt butter over medium heat in a medium sauté pan until foam has subsided. Sauté livers with the shallots in butter for 2 to 3 minutes, until the livers are firm but still rosy inside. Scrape into a food processor or blender.
3. Pour the brandy into the pan and boil it down rapidly until it has reduced to 3 tablespoons. Scrape it into the blender.
4. Add the cream and seasonings to the blender. Cover and blend for several seconds until the liver is a smooth paste.
5. Add the melted butter and blend several seconds more. Adjust seasoning.
6. Pack into a jar and chill for 2 to 3 hours.
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Food and cooking tips, Haggis, Henry Big Boys in .357, Scotch Eggs, thick and fluffy pita and good tomatoes that aren't square, pale pink and covered with Mestizo E.coli: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com. Any advocacy of French Toast with syrup will result in disciplinary action up to and including being nuked from orbit.