Sponsored Content
« Colorado Officials Are Once Again Vindictively Prosecuting Masterpiece Cakeshop, Ignoring Supreme Court Decision | Main | Chelsea Clinton: Legalized Abortion Has Added Three and a Half Trillion Dollars to the Economy »
August 15, 2018

That Lowlife Dog Omarosa: Trump's Mental and Physical Decline Is Due to His Coke Habit.
His Diet Coke Habit, Which the World Does Not Yet Know the Full Extent of.
Yes I'm Serious.

Wow, if this book has further blockbuster revelations like this, it could sell dozens!

In "Unhinged: An Insider Account of the Trump White House," former reality-TV star-turned-White House staffer Omarosa Manigault Newman says the President's mental and physical decline in the most powerful office in the world is because he likes the soda a little too much. The Daily News received an advance copy of the book due out Tuesday.

In fact, the President keeps a box on his desk with a button that he can push when he wants his favorite beverage.

“The world has yet to learn about the extent of Donald Trump's Diet Coke habit,” Manigault Newman says in the book. “He always had one in his hand, as far back as I've known him. He's up to eight cans a day, at least. Eight cans a day, for the last 15 years, is 43,800 cans of Diet Coke, poured into his system. In the White House , he just pushes a button in a wooden box on his desk. He can summon anything with that button. Whenever I went in to brief him, he'd push the button and get us Diet Cokes."

Scandalous! I know Brian Stelter of CNN will certainly be shocked by Trump's unhealthy dietary habits.

Another shock revelation from the book: Trump hits the tanning bed every morning to look bronzed.

Which to me is a reverse-revelation: I assumed he was putting on bronzing make-up. But no, apparently his unnatural tan is actually natural. (Or, at least: Real.)

Gee, I can't believe the Daily News is going out of business. They've got more scoops than Raisin Bran.

Here's one "scoop," though I suppose this is common knowledge: Trump owns two guns, Ta .45-caliber Heckler & Koch pistol and a .38-caliber Smith & Wesson revolver.

But wait, that dog Omarosa has more to tell you about That Devil Cola:


All of his strange habits can be traced back to Diet Coke, Manigault Newman claims.

"When I started to have grave concerns for his mental health, I connected the dots to his physical health and poor choices, specifically, his soda habit," she said.

She said she looked into it and found support for her hypothesis.

"I researched it, and found a brand-new study by a team of neurologists from Boston University that linked Diet Coke consumption with dementia and increased risk of stroke. Dementia. Not being able to remember anything, confusion, loss of vocabulary and ability to process information. Stroke,” she writes.

By "researched" it, she means she typed "Diet Coke" into her Google search field. And then -- Jackpot!

digg this
posted by Ace of Spades at 03:32 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Notorious BFD: "Have a good one, y'all. Maybe see ya later this ev ..."

golfman: "He is threadbare and raggedy like (like me), but I ..."

JQ: "We, too, have an overabundance of wrapping paper! ..."

golfman: "Posted by: PaleRider at January 29, 2023 03:52 PM ..."

Notsothoreau: "Okay, here's the fix for the yarn. All that yarn i ..."

Noam Sayen: "Now talk about the many charities supposedly helpi ..."

Notorious BFD: "[i]We're starting to drop like flys now.[/i] Th ..."

Captain Josepha Sabin -- I wasn't particularly fond of the '70s the first time around: "After my first year or so working as a bookseller, ..."

GWB: "We're about to start learning those same lessons t ..."

PaleRider: ""find the things" ugh, stupid typo. ..."

All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread): "Are there places that will take good (or goodish) ..."

cfo mom: "Speaking of sentimental stuff you just can't bring ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64