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June 08, 2018

Friday Night's ONT Rests in Peace

Unlike some people:

Damn White People!

They always ruin

*rolls dice *

Bologna!

Was it Good for You Honey?

THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WHO CHECK THEIR PHONES DURING SEX WILL (wait for it - WD) SHOCK YOU!!!!

No word on whether they were checking their cell phones at the time (but the guy who broke the story sure was, as he filmed them. Film at the link).

Satire

Pretty clever, too.

Resistance Win: When One Of Her Students Wore A MAGA Hat To Class, This Incredible Teacher Stopped Having Sex With Him After School https://t.co/dbXCjWtPod pic.twitter.com/jz5F5t7xE0
— ResistanceHole (@ResistanceHole) June 4, 2018

Another One of These

Where Have I Heard That Before?

Massive Genetic Study Reveals 90 Percent Of Earth’s Animals Appeared At The Same Time

I don't think it proves anything...but I does seem consistent with the Judaeo-Christian creation story.

In The Arms of an Angel

I FOUND IT LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/WO28L4VXDL
— Sydnee (@sydneeW_) May 23, 2018

Actually, I say we monetize it. I'm not the only one. This thread is hilarious. Shit like this is the antitheses to the dumpster fire that is a much of Twitter.

Imagine a restaurant called, “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad”.

The waiters are dads in their grass stained sneakers and t-shirts. The food on the menu, all puns. ex) a Robert Brownie Jr.

And may God have mercy on the souls of those who mess with the thermostat.
— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) June 2, 2018

You really should click through and read down, the thread is full of great suggestions. The hostess greets each customer with "Close the door! We're not paying to air condition the neighborhood!", the salad section of the menu is called "Stuff Food Eats" and a plethora of puntastic names for dishes on the menu.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by Philadelphia:

posted by WeirdDave at 09:51 PM

| Access Comments


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Related: Brazen couple caught romping on a gravestone in broad daylight No word on whether they were checking their cell phones at the time (but the guy who broke the story sure was, as he filmed them. Film at the link). Satire Pretty clever, too. Resistance Win: When One Of Her Students Wore A MAGA Hat To Class, This Incredible Teacher Stopped Having Sex With Him After School https://t.co/dbXCjWtPod pic.twitter.com/jz5F5t7xE0 — ResistanceHole (@ResistanceHole) June 4, 2018 Another One of These Where Have I Heard That Before? Massive Genetic Study Reveals 90 Percent Of Earth’s Animals Appeared At The Same Time I don't think it proves anything...but I does seem consistent with the Judaeo-Christian creation story. In The Arms of an Angel I FOUND IT LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/WO28L4VXDL — Sydnee (@sydneeW_) May 23, 2018 Actually, I say we monetize it. I'm not the only one. This thread is hilarious. Shit like this is the antitheses to the dumpster fire that is a much of Twitter. Imagine a restaurant called, “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad”. The waiters are dads in their grass stained sneakers and t-shirts. The food on the menu, all puns. ex) a Robert Brownie Jr. And may God have mercy on the souls of those who mess with the thermostat. — Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) June 2, 2018 You really should click through and read down, the thread is full of great suggestions. The hostess greets each customer with "Close the door! We're not paying to air condition the neighborhood!", the salad section of the menu is called "Stuff Food Eats" and a plethora of puntastic names for dishes on the menu. 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