Ace of Spades HQ

« The Press Is Determined to Claim Trump Is "Polticizing" Football. Have They Not Noticed Their Leftist Allies Politicizing Football, and Everything Else, For a Decade? | Main | EMT 06/09/18 »

June 08, 2018

Friday Night's ONT Rests in Peace

Unlike some people:

Damn White People!

They always ruin

*rolls dice *

Bologna!

Was it Good for You Honey?

THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WHO CHECK THEIR PHONES DURING SEX WILL (wait for it - WD) SHOCK YOU!!!!

No word on whether they were checking their cell phones at the time (but the guy who broke the story sure was, as he filmed them. Film at the link).

Satire

Pretty clever, too.

Resistance Win: When One Of Her Students Wore A MAGA Hat To Class, This Incredible Teacher Stopped Having Sex With Him After School https://t.co/dbXCjWtPod pic.twitter.com/jz5F5t7xE0
— ResistanceHole (@ResistanceHole) June 4, 2018

Another One of These

Where Have I Heard That Before?

Massive Genetic Study Reveals 90 Percent Of Earth’s Animals Appeared At The Same Time

I don't think it proves anything...but I does seem consistent with the Judaeo-Christian creation story.

In The Arms of an Angel

I FOUND IT LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/WO28L4VXDL
— Sydnee (@sydneeW_) May 23, 2018

Actually, I say we monetize it. I'm not the only one. This thread is hilarious. Shit like this is the antitheses to the dumpster fire that is a much of Twitter.

Imagine a restaurant called, “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad”.

The waiters are dads in their grass stained sneakers and t-shirts. The food on the menu, all puns. ex) a Robert Brownie Jr.

And may God have mercy on the souls of those who mess with the thermostat.
— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) June 2, 2018

You really should click through and read down, the thread is full of great suggestions. The hostess greets each customer with "Close the door! We're not paying to air condition the neighborhood!", the salad section of the menu is called "Stuff Food Eats" and a plethora of puntastic names for dishes on the menu.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by Philadelphia:

posted by WeirdDave at 09:51 PM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries America's Worst Previous President, Jimmy Carter, Dead at 100 THE MORNING RANT: Government is Paying Manufacturers to Produce Electric School Buses, and Then Paying School Districts to Buy Them Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 12/30/24 Daily Tech News 30 December 2024 Sunday Overnight Open Thread - December 29, 2024 [Doof] Gun Thread: Post Christmas and Pre-New Year 2024 Edition! Food Thread: Raccoons, Brisket, And Latkes...A Match Made In Heaven! First-World Problems... The Progressives Love Lawfare...Payback Is A B*tch! Absent Friends Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups	« The Press Is Determined to Claim Trump Is "Polticizing" Football. Have They Not Noticed Their Leftist Allies Politicizing Football, and Everything Else, For a Decade? \| Main \| EMT 06/09/18 » June 08, 2018 Friday Night's ONT Rests in Peace Unlike some people: Damn White People! They always ruin rolls dice Bologna! Was it Good for You Honey? THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WHO CHECK THEIR PHONES DURING SEX WILL (wait for it - WD) SHOCK YOU!!!! Related: Brazen couple caught romping on a gravestone in broad daylight No word on whether they were checking their cell phones at the time (but the guy who broke the story sure was, as he filmed them. Film at the link). Satire Pretty clever, too. Resistance Win: When One Of Her Students Wore A MAGA Hat To Class, This Incredible Teacher Stopped Having Sex With Him After School https://t.co/dbXCjWtPod pic.twitter.com/jz5F5t7xE0 — ResistanceHole (@ResistanceHole) June 4, 2018 Another One of These Where Have I Heard That Before? Massive Genetic Study Reveals 90 Percent Of Earth’s Animals Appeared At The Same Time I don't think it proves anything...but I does seem consistent with the Judaeo-Christian creation story. In The Arms of an Angel I FOUND IT LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/WO28L4VXDL — Sydnee (@sydneeW_) May 23, 2018 Actually, I say we monetize it. I'm not the only one. This thread is hilarious. Shit like this is the antitheses to the dumpster fire that is a much of Twitter. Imagine a restaurant called, “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad”. The waiters are dads in their grass stained sneakers and t-shirts. The food on the menu, all puns. ex) a Robert Brownie Jr. And may God have mercy on the souls of those who mess with the thermostat. — Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) June 2, 2018 You really should click through and read down, the thread is full of great suggestions. The hostess greets each customer with "Close the door! We're not paying to air condition the neighborhood!", the salad section of the menu is called "Stuff Food Eats" and a plethora of puntastic names for dishes on the menu. Tonight's ONT brought to you by Philadelphia: posted by WeirdDave at 09:51 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Seems Legit: "How odd, I thought everyone understood that electr ..." rickb223 Gold & Silver Spot Prices [s][/b][/i][/u]: "You’d think they would’ve come up with ..." Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in Solidarity with the Struggle : "MiG-29 has two sets of intakes Bonus hole. ..." It's me donna : "270 242 To be fair, Elon did advise that there isn ..." West Frisian Women's Auxiliary : "The red head gene mutation also enables them to dr ..." eleven: "If there wasn't a steel re-enforced concrete wall ..." SMOD: "DC_Draino @DC_Draino Think about this If Tr ..." Sponge - Fck Joe Biden: "[i]thus, his push to ship congolese lithium mining ..." garrett: "What is the increased Mass of an Electric School B ..." Thomas Paine: "242 To be fair, Elon did advise that there isn't e ..." Skip : "Bet they won't get 10 years of use out of a EV Bus ..." Sponge - Fck Joe Biden: "[i]They handle 25% more pain than others, and repo ..." Recent Entries America's Worst Previous President, Jimmy Carter, Dead at 100 THE MORNING RANT: Government is Paying Manufacturers to Produce Electric School Buses, and Then Paying School Districts to Buy Them Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 12/30/24 Daily Tech News 30 December 2024 Sunday Overnight Open Thread - December 29, 2024 [Doof] Gun Thread: Post Christmas and Pre-New Year 2024 Edition! Food Thread: Raccoons, Brisket, And Latkes...A Match Made In Heaven! First-World Problems... The Progressives Love Lawfare...Payback Is A Btch! Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64