The Resistance, as Portrayed by Interpretive Seizure

"WTF is this wannabe avant-garde horseshit?" an email from Yoko Ono asks.

Apparently this is some stupid gay dance shit called "Figuring," the point of which, I guess, is attempting to imitate the gay retarded movements of figurines, which don't actually dance, you know. I guess they mean like in a stupid music box.

They don't look like figurines. They just look stupid and herniated.

Actually, reading the article (always a mistake, as you guys have taught me), they have this explanation to justify the fact that they can't dance for shit:

Originating from internal physical processes, Moriah Evans' Figuring takes micro movements as method. Through the engagement of energies, reactions, and interactions, three female performers make visible and audible internal systems in order to pitch them against the external forces of space and other. Control and loss of control become the borders that the performers traverse in a series of measured movements that attempt to reconfigure the perceived cohesiveness and stability of the human form. Through pacing and scale, physical gestures make malleable the inner qualities of the body, as well as the sensation of time. Figuring brings forth the unseen, yet felt, world of bodies and space.

That's fucking retarded.

Oh, and if that isn't enough, check out this supercut by Free Beacon of Brian Stelter loving the idea of President Oprah, but it looks more to me like Brian Stelter loving on Little Debbie Snack-Cakes.

posted by Ace at 07:38 PM

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