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September 02, 2017

Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread (Featuring Dress Pr0n) 09-02-2017

ghosts game of chess.jpgclick for full-sized version
Ghost's Game of Chess by Children7

Good afternoon morons and moronettes, and welcome to the Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread, the only AoSHQ thread with content specifically for all of us chess nerds who pay homage in the temple of Caïssa, goddess of the chessboard. Also, dress pr0n. Each week, I pick out a few lovely, modest, conservative dresses for the 'ettes to admire and appraise. And, for those of you who aren't nerdly enough for chess, you can use this thread to talk about checkers, or other games, or politics, or whatever you wish, only please try to keep it civil. Nobody wants to get in the middle of a hockey brawl on a Saturday afternoon, particularly during the off-season.

Problem 1 - White To Play (561)

Hint: White mates in 3

20170902- Problem 1.jpg
2r3k1/pb3p1p/1p3Bp1/2bN4/q7/4P2Q/P2R1PPP/5BK1 w - - 0 1

Problem 2 - White To Play (562)

This position was reached after 1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.d4 cxd4 4.Nxd4 Nf6 5.Nc3 d6 6.Bc4 g6 7.Nxc6 bxc6 8.e5

At this point, Black might be tempted to play 8...dxe5. Why is this an horrifically bad move?

Hint: White can win the queen by displacing the defender

20170902- Problem 2.jpg
r1bqkb1r/p3pp1p/2pp1np1/4P3/2B5/2N5/PPP2PPP/R1BQK2R b KQkq - 0 8

Problem 3 - White To Play (135)

This is from one of Adolf Anderssen's games against some no-name back in 1842.

Hint: White mates in 3

20170902- Problem 3.jpg
r1q1r3/8/k1p5/1pK5/7R/1P6/8/4QB2 w - - 0 1

Problem 4 - Black To Play (BWTC 200)

Hint: Black can mate in 7

20170902- Problem 4.jpg
r4rk1/ppRn1p2/6pb/1P2pq1p/3N4/P1QPn1Pb/1B1NPP1P/4R1KB b - - 0 1

Endgame of the Week (563)

It's White's move. What's the best way for him to proceed?

Hint: Don't let Black get going with his marauding queen to harass you with perpetual checks or maybe force a stalemate. After you've taken care of the queen, you can use your bishops to set up a mating net for Black's king

20170902 - Endgame.jpg
1B2B2k/3P4/4PK2/8/6q1/8/8/8 w - - 0 1

Dress Pron For The 'Ettes

During the Obama years, we were deluged with propaganda from liberals that Michelle Obama was the most beautiful woman who ever stepped out of a clamshell from the foaming sea, and that only racists and misogynists would disagree. Particularly her arms, her "transformative" arms, which, for some reason, were a source of much fascination for liberals.

I got to thinking of the last time everybody was oohing and aahing over a Democratic president's wife, and that is why I'm featuring Jacqueline Kennedy in this week's dress pr0n.

So sit back, relax, and and enjoy a little bit of history:

jackie k 01.jpg

jackie k 02.jpg

jackie k 04.jpg

jackie k 05.jpg

jackie k 07.jpg

jackie k 10.jpg

This isn't Jackie, this is Natalie Portman, shown here as Jackie in the eponymous 2016 biopic:

jackie k 08.jpg

No, this isn't Jackie, either, it's somebody else. Can you guess who? Swipe your mouse below the pic for the answer.

pelosi and jfk.jpg
Answer:Nancy Pelosi


Solutions Update

Problem 1 - White To Play

20170902- Problem 1.jpg
2r3k1/pb3p1p/1p3Bp1/2bN4/q7/4P2Q/P2R1PPP/5BK1 w - - 0 1


Threatens Qg7#


The only response. But it falls short:

2.Ne7+ Bxe7

Problem 2 - White To Play

20170902- Problem 2.jpg
r1bqkb1r/p3pp1p/2pp1np1/4P3/2B5/2N5/PPP2PPP/R1BQK2R b KQkq - 0 8

8...dxe5? is a horrifically bad move because now White can hit him with this zinger:

9.Bxf7+! Kxf7

The capture is forced.


And Black is now down the exchange bigly and is in a resignable position.

Problem 3 - White To Play

20170902- Problem 3.jpg
r1q1r3/8/k1p5/1pK5/7R/1P6/8/4QB2 w - - 0 1

Straightforward from here:

1.Qa5+ Kxa5
2.Ra4+ bxa4

Problem 4 - Black To Play (BWTC 200)

20170902- Problem 4.jpg
r4rk1/ppRn1p2/6pb/1P2pq1p/3N4/P1QPn1Pb/1B1NPP1P/4R1KB b - - 0 1

2.Kxf2 Ng4+

Not 3.Kg1 because of Be3#


If 4.dxe4 then 4...Nde5#

5.Kf3 Ne5+
6.Kf2 Nfg4+
7.Kg1 Be3#

Tricksy knights.

Endgame of the Week (563)

20170902 - Endgame.jpg
1B2B2k/3P4/4PK2/8/6q1/8/8/8 w - - 0 1

I was actually able to work through this problem myself without looking at the answer, so now my head is all swelled up like an overripe melon.

Looking at the position, I estimated that the best Black could do was a draw. Toward that end, I could see that Black's queen could run wild all over the board, giving checks and threatening pieces. So White would be premature if he tried an immediate 1.Be5 to set up a discovered check because of 1...Kh7 2.Bf7 Qg5+ 3.Kxg5 stalemate.

So I thought that White's first task had to be to neutralize the queen. He can do this by

1. d8=Q!

Now Black needs to do something about that queen.

2.Kg6 Qxd8

Black may think he can prolong the game indefinitely by harassing White's king, but it won't work. For example, 2...Qg4+ 3.Qg5 Qe4+ 4.Kf7 Qf3+ 5.Bf4 Qb7+ 6.Bd7 and Black has run out of checks. So he really needs to take the new queen.

And now with Black's queen out of the way:

3.Be5+ Kg8
4.Bf7+ Kf8
5.Bg7+ Ke7
6.Bf6+ Kf8

At this point, my stupid chess app decided it didn't like the looks of things coming up and decided to make a run for it:


Heh. "See you later, toots, you're on your own!"

7. Bxd8 and wins.

Now, back to the main line. Black has just played 6...Kf8 and now there's a mate in 2:

7.e7+! Qxe7

Hope to see you all next week!


Note: that cryptic line of letters and numbers you see underneath each board diagram is a representation of the position in what is known as "Forsyth-Edwards Notation", or F.E.N. It's actually readable by humans. Most computer applications nowadays can read FEN, so those of you who may want to study the position, you can copy the line of FEN and paste into your chess app and it should automatically recreate the position on its display board. Or, Windows users can just "triple click" on it and the entire line will be highlighted so you can copy and past it into your chess app.


So that about wraps it up for this week. Chess thread tips, suggestions, bribes, rumors, threats, and insults may be sent to my yahoo address: OregonMuse little-a-in-a-circle yahoo dott com.

digg this
posted by OregonMuse at 05:10 PM

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