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July 14, 2017

Say It Ain't So, Joe: Legendary Vanity-Rock Sensation Joe Scarborough Quits the GOP on Steven Colbert, After Admitting He Buys Into Liberal Progressive Line 100%

So, this Rock God, the Pensacola City Panic, the Amadeus of the Axe, this Solid Body Bard, this Billy Idol Shakespeare coming at you live from Stratocaster-on-Avon---

--- has announced to his millions of adoring fans that he's decamping the Republican Party, making this announcement on the place where Republicans come to discuss issues, the Stephen Colbert show.

David Harsanyi only briefly hints at how miserable this fink's (double hand finger airquotes) "music" is, to instead talk about his rampant hypocrisy for having done everything in his power to get Trump nominated as GOP candidate, then becoming a loud-and-proud liberal Democrat the moment he succeeded in getting Trump to that position.

Alternate hypothesis for your consideration: It wasn't hypocrisy, it was covert action. Maybe Scarborough has been a Democrat for a good long while, and was following the Democrat Conventional Wisdom that Trump was the weakest candidate the GOP could field and so it was in ever Democrats' interest to pump him up -- until he secured the nomination at the convention.

I'd be interested in seeing a timeline of Trump's delegate count vs. Joe and Mika's chilling relationship with him.

Certainly Scarborough's talking like a full-on prog lately -- this from Harsanyi's piece:

“I think maybe the last straw for me actually wasn’t Russia, it was the health-care bill,” Scarborough said at a National Archives event this week. “That kicks 25 million people off of their health insurance, and then they turn around and give tax cuts to the richest 1 percent of America.”

This is, of course, a standard liberal talking point, used in one form or another to attack virtually any Republican legislative effort to cut taxes or slow future spending. There’s nothing wrong with this line of attack, per se, but if you use it you should also have the decency to stop pretending you’re a Republican or a conservative.

A while ago he released an album. Someone - Jane D'Oh, I think -- asked when I would post about that. I did some research but realized that I'm just not a music critic and so while I can tell you his music is crap, I can't really tell you why.

I have failed at that, but maybe some musically-talented people can tell me, specifically, why this old man's attempt to be the John Meyers of 2017 just doesn't work.

Below, some terrible, terrible music.

I've lived with the misery of these songs alone long enough. [Jamie Gumm voice;] Now you too will know my pain.

This one starts out like a song about Jesus Amy Grant decided was probably inspired by Satan and so she threw it away, and then segues into Scarborough trying to sound like Bruce Springsteen, and then into him doing this dewey ooh-ah chorus that sounds like somethng Hootie and the Blowfish might have worked on before throwing it out, deciding that it, too, was probably inspired by Satan.

This song has a bunch of loud horns to tell you "It's Party Time, Get Ready to Rock!!" and then he starts doing some kind of Justin-Bieber-sings-the-Beach-Boys shit. Then it goes back into "You Know It's Time to Party, Because Now I've Got a Black Backup Singer!!!" mode. Then back to Justin Bieber hanging ten.

It's a fucking mess. He wrote this song to show off his virtuosity in sucking in three different genres.

Also, it's inspired by Satan.

Hey, remember when Jesus Jones released that video using lots of topical news footage and everyone thought it was super-hip and innovative?

Aging debut mall rocker Joe Scarborough sure does.

One problem -- instead of writing an instantly-catchy song like Right Here, Right Now, he wrote a song that seems to have been inspired by Satan.

No that's not fair -- Satan would probably inspire you to write a catchy song, so as to seduce the innocent.

This song was inspired by Satan's Asshole, who's not quite as good, and thinks vocal distortion effects are like sooo cutting edge and trip-hop, yo.

These songs are shit.

And this fucker claims he's written 400 of them, and this crop, presumably, represents his top-drawer stuff, his most polished and catchiest numbers.

He says -- and I'm serious about this -- he'll be releasing an EP's worth of songs, say 5 or 6, like every two weeks, unless someone stops him.

digg this
posted by Ace at 06:59 PM

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