Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact
Ace:aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries
Festivus Monday Overnight Open Thread - December 23, 2024 [Doof]
I Can't Believe It's Not Christmas Yet Cafe Bill Clinton In Hospital After Coming Down with Fever Update: Illness Diagnosed as Thicc White Girl Fever House Ethics Report Places Matt Gaetz on "Naughty" List Daily Mail: "Depressed" Joe Biden is Being Encouraged by "Vengeful" Doktor Jill Biden to "Burn the Whole Thing Down" as Payback for Coup Congresswoman With Advanced Dementia Has Been Living in a Memory Care Home For Six Months and Hasn't Attended Congress or Cast a Vote In All That Time; Corrupt DC Media and Political Class Knew All About This, But Hid It From Citizens Focus Group Says That Democrats Are Weak and Overly Focused on "Diversity" and Other "Elite" Luxury Concerns Like Endless Gender Transitions for Children Drunk, Insane Illegal Alien Sets Woman On Fire in NYC Subway, Burning Her to Death Biden Commutes the Sentences of Almost All Federal Convicts on Death Row THE MORNING RANT: America’s Gerontocracy – AWOL Texas Congresswoman Found Living in Memory Care Facility Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
|
« Evergreen Student: This School Is So Obsessed With Race That It's Become, Get This, Actually Dangerously Racist |
Main
| Morning Headlines 7-14-2017 »
July 13, 2017
What Time is It? It's ONT Time!..and so I fumbled for the light, and when it clicked on, I saw his body. Stabbed clean through the chest multiple times. There was blood everywhere. I was really in a quandary. I couldn't just leave him there, it was bound to come back on me eventually, but if I called the police there would be a nasty row. So what I did was, I took my handkerchief and...
Source Yea, well, maybe not. What else we got on tap? Once upon a time there was light in my life
No, not that. I'm talking about the actual total eclipse of the sun happening next month. Here’s every total solar eclipse happening in your lifetime August 21 there will be a total solar eclipse that traverses the US from coast to coast. A couple of years ago, I went to Maine to watch a total lunar eclipse. It was very, very cool. I am going to see this come Hell or high water, but I haven't figured out where yet, and lots of hotels and stuff are sold out. Any Morons in the path of totality on the eastern half of the country who could put a brother up for a night? *By the way, the ”Literal Version” of the Bonnie Tyler video above is a real hoot. Presented Without Comment Woman climbs Mount Everest to prove vegans aren't weak, dies. Stop the Presses! Saudi Arabia comes clean: ”We Mislead You” Well, not exactly, but it's certainly a step in the right direction. I've been fascinated by what's been going on in the Middle East lately. Hard as it is to believe, they really seem to be cleaning up their act. All it took was for us to step back into a supporting role and let the Arabs take out their own trash. Look, I'm no Pollyanna, and there's a long way to go, but, well....it could be the beginning of reformation. Then again it might not be. Worth watching anyway. Schadenfreude Watch below as Antifa “anti-fascists” cheer a speaker who speaks entirely in Adolf Hitler quotes.
Know What I Hate About Soccer?
His Heart Stopped While Playing in an NHL Game They rushed him into the locker room and restarted his heart with an AED machine. The first thing he said after he woke up was that he wanted to go back into the game. Hardcore. Now Rich Peverley is using that experience to lobby for increased distribution of AED machines. Good for him.
Tim Tebow’s unlikely quest moves to the next level I don't think he has the talent to become a star in MLB, but I sure hope he makes it. I've been a fan ever since he whipped the Steelers in the playoffs, but whatever else you can say about him, he is a grade A class act. BTW, Tebow jerseys are selling like hotcakes. Related: Tongue in cheek column about how easy it is to play Baseball It was supposed to just be a quick trip to the beach, but the Saturday afternoon diversion to the water almost ended in unspeakable tragedy for Roberta Ursrey and her family. Ursrey and her husband, mother, nephews and sons were enjoying the sun and yellow-flag conditions near the M.B. Miller County Pier. Ursrey herself had just left the water, but when she turned around to look for her sons, she noticed they were much farther from shore than she remembered. Concerned, she started walking down the beach. And then she heard their screams. “They were screaming and crying that they were stuck,” Ursrey recalled in an interview Monday. “People were saying, ‘Don’t go out there.’ ” Unwilling to watch them drown, Ursrey and her family swam out to them, but the rip current was much stronger than they realized and despite her best efforts to escape, they were trapped as well. All in all, Ursrey said there were nine people stuck in about 15 feet of water, including her mother, who suffered a massive heart attack during the ordeal and very nearly died.
Hopefully you'll do what the people on the Emerald Coast did that day. “Come on. Grab my hand. We have to save them” Human chain. 20 people. 50. 70. Some who couldn't even swim. All of them linking hands and reaching further and further out into the Gulf. 80 people. Finally a woman named Jessica Simmons from Alabama was able to reach the trapped people and hand them down the chain to safety. God Bless Americans
People seem to like these gifs, so I'll give you one more:
Science!
The Yahoo Group knows that the opening of the ONT was a gag Alfred Hitchcock used to play in crowded elevators. He'd get in, turn to his companion and act as if he was continuing a lurid story, and then walk off at his floor just before the good part, leaving an elevator full of googly-eyed people behind him.
| Recent Comments
Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Next year in Corsicana - again! ~ [/i][/b][/u][/s]:
"DoofONT ..."
Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others _ : "Dinner time. ..." Duke Lowell : "That top pic looks an awful lot like Gary, Indiana ..." Deplorable Minion: "ButI have evrything already ..." Doof: "[i]You know this will go on your permanent record! ..." CharlieBrown'sDildo: "You know this will go on your permanent record! ..." Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Next year in Corsicana - again! ~ [/i][/b][/u][/s]: "For the restivus! ..." Dr. Claw: "234 'DMSO Then there is Gloria Ramirez' Tha ..." Ian S.: "Excerpt from a Buzz Patterson post on X: [I]The ..." CharlieBrown'sDildo: "McKenna 10 Year. ..." Ben Had: "Blood libels never seem to go out of season. ..." Ciampino - cheap at the prices: "324 10 minute ONT warning! Posted by: Piper at ..." Recent Entries
Festivus Monday Overnight Open Thread - December 23, 2024 [Doof]
I Can't Believe It's Not Christmas Yet Cafe Bill Clinton In Hospital After Coming Down with Fever Update: Illness Diagnosed as Thicc White Girl Fever House Ethics Report Places Matt Gaetz on "Naughty" List Daily Mail: "Depressed" Joe Biden is Being Encouraged by "Vengeful" Doktor Jill Biden to "Burn the Whole Thing Down" as Payback for Coup Congresswoman With Advanced Dementia Has Been Living in a Memory Care Home For Six Months and Hasn't Attended Congress or Cast a Vote In All That Time; Corrupt DC Media and Political Class Knew All About This, But Hid It From Citizens Focus Group Says That Democrats Are Weak and Overly Focused on "Diversity" and Other "Elite" Luxury Concerns Like Endless Gender Transitions for Children Drunk, Insane Illegal Alien Sets Woman On Fire in NYC Subway, Burning Her to Death Biden Commutes the Sentences of Almost All Federal Convicts on Death Row THE MORNING RANT: America’s Gerontocracy – AWOL Texas Congresswoman Found Living in Memory Care Facility Search
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |