#WokeAsFoke: Cosmo Warns Parents-to-Be That Revealing Your Child's Gender May Scar Your Trans-in-Training For Life

They don't ask for much: Only for access to and dominion over your children.

Cosmopolitan, the magazine that is so entrenched in hetero-normative standards, its current issue contains no fewer than four articles about how to please your man during heterosexual intercourse, wants you to know that revealing your baby’s gender before he or she is born will probably corrupt them for life.

In the wokest of woke takes, Cosmo‘s resident radical feminist reveals that baby showers, which, recently, have come to involve complex “gender reveals” where couples cut into cakes or release balloons to find out what binary sex their precious little one will be saddled with at birth, are “potentially damaging.”

Not only is Cosmo‘s crack reporter “uncomfortable” with celebrating a fetus’s “gestational markers,” but she’s very concerned that “gender-reveal” parties don’t actually reveal a baby’s gender. They reveal what genitalia the babies will be born with, which may or may not correspond to the gender they feel they are a bit down the line.

By shoehorning a newborn into either a “male” or “female” box—and worse, still, associating them with the hetero-normative colors “blue” and “pink”—expectant parents are, quite literally, Hitler.

Imma have to ask you to click to find out in precisely what way you're Literally Hitler if you "genderize" your baby, but it might make for a fun guessing game: Before you click, you dirty cheaters who google things to sound smart, let me have your theory about how saying your boy or girl is a boy or girl is #LikeHitler.

The secret message here is that you should only announce What Gender Your Child Has Decided to Be on Xeir 18th Birthday.

BTW, as a companion to this, check out the delightful little update to that Children's Guide to Anal Sex from Teen Vogue, in the sidebar.

posted by Ace at 05:30 PM

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