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Ace of Spades Pet Thread | Main | Saturday Evening Movie Thread 06-10-2017 [Hosted By: TheJamesMadison]
June 10, 2017

Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread (Featuring Dress Pr0n) 06-10-2017

the next chess genius.jpg
"So You've Never Seen Légal's Mate Before, Have You, Dad?"

Good afternoon morons and moronettes, and welcome to the Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread, the only AoSHQ thread with content specifically for all of us chess nerds who pay homage in the temple of Caïssa, goddess of the chessboard. Also, dress pr0n. Each week, for the 'ettes, I try to pick out a few lovely, conservative dresses to ooh and ooh over. And, for those of you who aren't nerdly enough for chess, you can use this thread to talk about checkers, or other games, or politics, or whatever you wish, only please try to keep it civil. Nobody wants to get in the middle of a food fight on a Saturday afternoon.

Problem 1 - White To Play (492)

Hint: White mates in 3

20170610 - Problem 1.jpg
5bk1/p5p1/n2q1pN1/1p2pP1Q/1P1p4/P1rP4/2r3B1/R4RK1 w - - 0 1

Chess GAINZZ...

Received this in an e-mail this week from a chess thread lurker:

This Monday our local retirees-playing-chess-in-the-library club was challenged by a high school chess team. I went 5-0, in another victory of Old age and Treachery versus Youth and Enthusiasm. I attribute this to the time I spend studying your chess thread; I achieved several nifty 'white wins material', but as of yet no 'mate in 4'.

Woohoo! The chess thread gets results!

Problem 2 - Black To Play (BWTC 206)

Hint: Black mates in 3

20170610 - Problem 2.jpg
2kq2r1/p7/2p5/1pR5/1K1P1p2/1PP2R2/P2r4/5Q2 b - - 0 1

By Request

I think tomorrow's chess thread should include the McQueen/Dunaway shenanigans from The Thomas Crown Affair for "visual appeal".

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at June 09, 2017 08:33 PM (W6iva)

I actually showed this YouTube clip last year, but perhaps it's time for a repeat. I think this scene is masterful filmmaking. It is saturated with eroticism without showing any actual sex. Personally, I find this approach much more aesthetically pleasing than showing two naked bodies humping on a bed.

And my comments:

1. That pre-Staunton chess set they're using is interesting, although it looks more decorative than utilitarian. I'm not sure what type it actually is. It looks something like this one, but not quite.

2. I'd forgotten that back in the day, Faye Dunaway was quite a hottie.

3. The outcome of the game wasn't shown, but I think we are intended to understand that it ended in a mate.

Problem 3 - White To Play (500)

Hint: Think outside the box a bit and win some material

20170610 - Problem 3.jpg
2bqkb1r/2p1n1pp/p1p5/4p3/4P3/2NQB3/PrP2PPP/R3K2R w KQk - 0 1

Problem 4 - Black To Play (BWTC 214)

Hint: Black mates in, at most, 5 moves

20170610 - Problem 4.jpg
5rkb/ppp1q3/3p2BQ/6P1/3n4/2B4P/bPP1r3/2KR2NR b - - 0 1

Endgame of the Week (Endgame 50645)

It's White's move. Yes, he can win. Just show me how. As is usual, you don't have to run it all the way to checkmate to get full credit, just show he gets an overwhelming advantage.

Hint: Force the Black king away from the queening square.

20170610 - Endgame.jpg
8/8/2p2p2/8/7P/8/1k1K4/8 w - - 0 1

And Now, Without Further Ado: Dress Pr0n!

First, a little retro:

When I search for "modest bridal dress images", I can usually get good results. Like this:

20170610 dress pr0n 37.jpg

Click For Embiggened Photo


Solutions Update

Problem 1 - White To Play

20170610 - Problem 1.jpg
5bk1/p5p1/n2q1pN1/1p2pP1Q/1P1p4/P1rP4/2r3B1/R4RK1 w - - 0 1

Straightforward from here:

1.Bd5+ Qxd5
2.Qh8+ Kf7

All of Black's moves are forced, so the decision tree is nothing but a trunk.

Problem 2 - Black To Play

20170610 - Problem 2.jpg
2kq2r1/p7/2p5/1pR5/1K1P1p2/1PP2R2/P2r4/5Q2 b - - 0 1

Again, forced:

2.Kxa5 Rxa2+
3.Kb4 a5#

Problem 3 - White To Play

20170610 - Problem 3.jpg
2bqkb1r/2p1n1pp/p1p5/4p3/4P3/2NQB3/PrP2PPP/R3K2R w KQk - 0 1

1.Qxd8+ Kxd8

Look out, here it comes:




No other choice.


Nom, nom, nom.

White eats rook.


Problem 4 - Black To Play

20170610 - Problem 4.jpg
5rkb/ppp1q3/3p2BQ/6P1/3n4/2B4P/bPP1r3/2KR2NR b - - 0 1

In many, if not most, chess combinations and mate problems, the order of the moves is of utmost importance. That is, if the moves aren't carried out in *precisely* the right order, the combination or problem solution will fail. But in this problem, there are two solutions which are actually the same solution with a slightly different move order.

The first one starts out with

2.Bd2 Nb3+
3.cxb3 Qxd2+
4.Rxd2 Rf1+

Or 5.Rd1 followed by 5...Bxb2#


1... Nb3+
2.cxb3 Qe3+
3.Bd2 Qxd2+
4.Rxd2 Rf1+
5.Kc2 (again, if 5.Rd1 then 5...Bxb2#)

So, pretty much the same thing.

Endgame of the Week

20170610 - Endgame.jpg
8/8/2p2p2/8/7P/8/1k1K4/8 w - - 0 1

White has a monster passed pawn on h4. So what would happen if just ran it?

1.h5 c5
2.h6 c4
3.h7 c3+
4.Ke1 c2
5.h8=Q c1=Q+ and draw.

So the answer is: not much. The problem is, Black can get counterplay by pushing his own pawn down the 'c' file. So White needs to eliminate this threat.

1. Kd3!

Trying to get to c4. But Black easily counters.

2. Kd4 Kb4

And now White has the position he wants. Black's King has been maneuvered far enough away from the c1 queening square that he will not be able to get back there in time to protect his queening pawn from capture. White may now push his passer.

3. h5 c5+

White has nothing to fear from this check.

4. Ke3 c4
5. h6 c3
6. h7 c2
7. Kd2!

Aha! And now Black is schlonged. He has to drop his King all the way back to c2 in order to protect his pawn, but he just doesn't have enough time.

8. h8=Q Kb2
9. Qc8 and wins

White wins the pawn and the game.

Hope to see you all next week!


Note: that cryptic line of letters and numbers you see underneath each board diagram is a representation of the position in what is known as "Forsyth-Edwards Notation", or F.E.N. It's actually readable by humans. Most computer applications nowadays can read FEN, so those of you who may want to study the position, you can copy the line of FEN and paste into your chess app and it should automatically recreate the position on its display board. Or, Windows users can just "triple click" on it and the entire line will be highlighted so you can copy and past it into your chess app.


So that about wraps it up for this week. Chess thread tips, suggestions, bribes, rumors, threats, and insults may be sent to my yahoo address: OregonMuse little-a-in-a-circle yahoo dott com.

digg this
posted by OregonMuse at 05:06 PM

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