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June 08, 2017

Get Ready to be Happy

So, Kurt Eichenwald.

Kurt Eichenwald tweeted out a picture of his computer screen to show the anti-semitic messages he was getting.

Here's the thing, though: the screenshot included a tab in his browser.

Now, I have to include a Content Warning here for the foreground image of the anti-semitic crap Eichenwald tweeted out. (Though he was tweeting this out to show how awful his critics were.) But if you look at his tabs, you'll see a tab calling itself "B-Chiku (English, Uncensored, 212 pictures)" or something. I don't know what that means.

Well, I didn't know what that means.

Now I'm hip.

Apparently B-Chiku is hentai tentacle porn -- you know, that odd, much-discussed thing where giant tentacle monsters rape human women (well, it's not always rape, but these are monsters so it's rape a lot of the time, and Japanese porn generally has a rape vibe to it) -- and you can see that (Content Warning!) in the third picture in this tweet, the dirtiest parts redacted.

I don't know if the redactions were done by the person tweeting that -- the tab does promise "Uncensored."

Now, I have definitely not opened this link yet, merely copied it, but if you wish to inspect a link whose name begins with "B-Chiku, English, Uncensored, 212 pictures," you can Major Content Warning inspect this artistry here. Major Content Warning, note -- I haven't opened it, but I assume it's got ALL KINDZ OF HENTAI GAINZZZ.

Kurt Eichenwald is now explaining the honest truth of the matter -- see, he was just having a dispute with his wife about whether Hentai porn existed, and his children (!!!) and himself were insisting to his wife it did exist, and she was saying it didn't, so, it is implied, he opened this tab only for purposes of resolving a Cute Family Dispute.

About uncensored hentai tentacle monster porn.

(That link is to Twitchy, so it's clean. Except for the general topic, of course.)

And that's the end of the story matter as far as I'm concerned. If an august and learned personage such as Kurt Eichenwald says he just had a link of 212 uncensored tentacle porn pictures in an open tab to settle a family dispute -- rather than a much less sexual (but still edgy!) entry about the subject on Wikipedia -- then I believe him.

This kind of puts my one-time link of Busty Lesbian Porn (actually, I'd just say "erotica") into perspective, huh?

That's right you dicks -- ain't nothin' wrong with the love that one busty woman shows another busty woman. Don't be h8rs.

In related news, Anthony Weiner was just posting pictures of his dick on the internet to prove to his wife and family that there exist pictures of Anthony Weiner's dick on the internet.

Update: Eichenwald's wife, who raced to his twitter account to claim "My husband just had a seizure" minutes after the moment Eichenwald would later claim he had a seizure, is now cited as a disinterested third-party authority for the proposition that Eichenwald was just having a Cute Family Dispute about tentacle porn:

Update: When I posted that Busty Lesbian Erotica link, I was having an argument with my Pastor about whether Busty Women sometimes felt a Forbidden Love for their Busty Sisters. My pastor, after studying the material I provided to him for, oh, ten, twelve minutes or so, and then cleaning himself up, then conceded that such a Love was possible, though frowned upon.

Then we went our separate ways, and frowned upon it at home like hyperpriapic spider-monkeys.

Update: Apparently the B-Chiku site is manga (comic book images) not hentai (animated cartoons), and also isn't even tentacle porn, putting into question why a search for "tentacle hentai" would bring up a folder of non-tentacle manga cartoons.

Also, a google search for "tentacle porn" brings up "tentacle erotica" on wikipedia as the second search result, making it quite baffling to me why someone would have to press onwards (and downwards) to find actual pornography to prove the point.

Even the Wikipedia entry contains a "classic" 1814 watercolor called "The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife" featuring an octopus copulating with a woman. And then it documents the phenomenon.

Seems like Wikipedia is enough to settle the dispute.

A few days ago I had a dispute whether a panda bear was a bear. I said it wasn't. We both checked wikipedia.

I was wrong; a panda is a bear. I thought, like "Koala bear," it was a misnomer.

Neither of us googled Panda Porn to resolve the question.

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posted by Ace at 02:50 PM

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