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Monday Overnight Open Thread - March 31, 2025 [Doof]
Rock-It Man Cafe New Mexico GOP Headquarters Firebombed As Snow Woke Crashes and Burns, Hollywood Scrambles to Cancel Woke Projects In "Crisis Mode Panic" Democrats Defeat Four Conservative Constitutional Amendments in Lousiana Kash Patel: The FBI's Years Long Stonewalling on the 2017 Congressional Baseball Game Assassin Is Over France Convicts Marie Le Pen of Fake Embezzlement, Bans Her From Running in 2027, an Election In Which She is the Front-Runner Trump: "I'm Not Joking," I'm Thinking About Running for a Third Term THE MORNING RANT: Another Climate Apocalypse Deadline Just Passed Mid-Morning Art Thread Absent Friends
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May 18, 2017
Thursday Night's ONT is a JokeThe gods too are fond of a joke. ![]() History Doesn't Repeat Itself, But it Does Rhyme At age 4, success is not peeing your pants Jesus Wept
So the next Sunday at the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink, He proceeded to preach up a storm. After the service he returned to his office he found the following note on the door. 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. SCIENCE!
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Feghoot
![]() L'Anse aux Meadows Last summer I visited the remains of the Viking colony there. It was an excellent trip, I wrote about it at the time. The guides were very knowledgeable. They told us an interesting story. It seems that once the colony failed, Leif Erikson returned to his native village in Greenland. When he returned, he found that he was no longer listed on the village rolls. He wasn't even allowed to vote in tribal council! Shocked, he went to the village clerk to ask why. The clerk investigated and got back to him the next day. “I'm sorry, I must have taken Leif off my census”!
The other day I was in Nevada and I decided to visit a brothel. Unfortunately, when I got there there was a sign on the door that said “Beat it, we're closed”
A guy in a dive bar comes up to the bartender and bets him $50 that he can stand on the bar at one end and piss into a whiskey bottle at the other end w/o getting a drop on the bar. The bartender takes the bet, so the guy climbs up on the bar and starts pissing. He pisses in the bar, he pisses on the back bar, he even pisses on the old hooker passed out at the other end of the bar. When he's done, the bartender laughs at him and says “Man, you hit everything BUT the bottle. Gimmie my $50”. The man smiles and hands it over. “Why are you smiling?” the bartender asks. “You didn't even come close”. “True”, the guy says, pointing at a group of glum looking men in a booth, “But I bet those guys $100 each that I could piss on your bar and you'd just laugh”.
Say, did you hear about the Amish alcoholic? Poor guy, he kept falling off the wagon.
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" he asked. "Oh, Bill, you didn't," she said. "Yes, I did," he told her. "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" she asked. "Oh... she got fired too." Tonight's ONT brought to you by, well, I dunno. Must be something like a French horn. ![]()
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Monday Overnight Open Thread - March 31, 2025 [Doof]
Rock-It Man Cafe New Mexico GOP Headquarters Firebombed As Snow Woke Crashes and Burns, Hollywood Scrambles to Cancel Woke Projects In "Crisis Mode Panic" Democrats Defeat Four Conservative Constitutional Amendments in Lousiana Kash Patel: The FBI's Years Long Stonewalling on the 2017 Congressional Baseball Game Assassin Is Over France Convicts Marie Le Pen of Fake Embezzlement, Bans Her From Running in 2027, an Election In Which She is the Front-Runner Trump: "I'm Not Joking," I'm Thinking About Running for a Third Term THE MORNING RANT: Another Climate Apocalypse Deadline Just Passed Mid-Morning Art Thread Search
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