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May 02, 2017

Hillary Clinton, In Rare Moment of Candid Introspection, Blames Election Loss on "Comey and Russian Wikileaks"

Here's a write-up from the Daily Mail, which gives you an overview, plus an entire sidebar chockfull of beach bodies and baby-bumps.

Below, a series of tweets which embed snippets of video from Hillary Clinton's interview with super-hard-questioning antagonist Christiana Amanapour.

Hillary does think misogyny "played a role" in her defeat. Well knock me down with a feather!

Christiana Amanapour gushes that Hillary was so tough on Putin that it was "personal" and that he undermined the election. Hillary bravely agrees "Well certainly he interfered in the election." She then claims that Trump "coordinated" with "that leader who will remain nameless." Well slap me on the ass and call me Susan!

Hillary Clinton confesses that she was on her way to winning until Comey and "Russian Wikileaks." Well put my feet in a bucket and wrap garland around me and call me a Christmas fir!!!

Hillary: If the election had been held on October 27th (before Comey's last-minute dastardly interference), "I'd be your president right now." Well paint me orange and Rebel Flag and have John Schneider and Tom Wopat slide into me through my always-open windows!!!

Hillary takes a moment to, get this, announce she won the popular vote, a statistic less meaningful than who won the last Bud Bowl.

Still on about how popular she is. Well expose me to the cosmic rays from a radioactive Gordita and call me Fat Superman (actual identity: Oliver Willis)!

And for some reason, the woman who can only navigate stairs with multiple Strong Male Hands assisting her and sometimes just flat-out collapses on the street is still insisting she takes long walks in the woods or something, where she presumably thinks up new Yoga Routines to transmit on her private email server with classified markings stripped.

Well color me orange and huge and call me Donald Trump's Penis, living rent-free in Stephen Colbert's mouth!

By the way, the reason Hillary Clinton lost is that many of Barack Obama's voters did turn out -- but for Trump.

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posted by Ace at 06:22 PM

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