ESPN Experiences Dramatic Shift In Political Affiliation Of Viewers Prior To Layoffs [Warden] | Main | The Morning Report 4/28/17
April 27, 2017

Thursday's ONT is by the Book

From the AoSHQ style guide:

“The ONT is a serious responsibility for COBS at AoSHQ. It is the final thread of the day, and as such it is the thread that serves as “decompression time” for the Horde. In general, members of the Horde are a touchy bunch (some of them are downright insane), and they must be handled with kid gloves. Follow the following guidelines and you'll soon be producing safe, sane ONTs that are a credit to our Dear Leader, Ace.

#1 Always open with an amusing photo or caption.

Dolph.jpg


#2 After the amusing opening photo, below the cut, it is best to post something light or humorous to put the Horde in a good mood. Always separate content with individual titles for each section.

Dognado



#3 Try not to be too preachy or bossy. Don't tell the Horde what to do.

How to do Easy Schleping


Phone Case.jpg

#4 Cute is always good. The Horde loves cute

Cute




#5 Avoid content that is creepy or disturbing

Creepy and Disturbing Content




#6 Also avoid links to content of questionable merit


Links to Content of Questionable Merit


Does SpongeBob Squarepants Have A Penis? An Investigation

Jackson Husband and Wife Shocked After DNA Test Reveals They Are Biological Twins


#7 Touching content is always welcome


Hard to Read Without Crying. I Did


We spent months bracing and preparing for the death of our daughter. But guess what? We weren’t ready.


#8 Many members of the Horde lurk on the ONT, hoping to pick up tips where to get questions answered online. Help them out if possible

Best Place Online to Find Answers


Pornhub3.jpg


#9 The ONT is also the place to elaborate or give the back story behind internet memes


I Guess Nobody Responded to Those Emails. Pity

$43M in cash found in empty Nigerian apartment

#10 Do NOT mention stories that are completely bizarre

Completely Bizarre Story

Mum fears freezer-raiding burglar ate her placenta


#11 Remember that this is a smart military blog. Morons enjoy military history, but be careful what you post; there are many very knowledgeable Morons, and they will instantly spot any historical inaccuracies in the content

A Smart Military Blog

trex.jpg


#12 Always close the ONT with an inspirational story and a “brought to you by” picture.

Inspirational Story

Danny Wuerffel and the fight for forgotten America


Tonight's ONT is brought to you by the new Twitter ride at Six Flags:

Coaster.jpg

Follow these instructions and you'll find that writing a Maetenloch quality ONT is a breeze. Remember that every COB has sworn fealty to Ace. Follow your oath, and make sure you don't do anything to embarrass Dear Leader. And don't forget to include a link to the Yahoo group."


This is a link to The Yahoo Group

digg this
posted by WeirdDave at 10:04 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Basement Cat: "[i]134 Yeah, see, I meow with my cats; trying to s ..."

Duke Lowell : "PETA was virtue signaling before virtue signaling ..."

publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear: " Blinking with cats is a sign of trust. And a wa ..."

rickl: "[i]208 134 Yeah, see, I meow with my cats; trying ..."

Insomniac - Nobody in Particular: "189 @187: "But man, if I had dementia I'd say, let ..."

Basement Cat: "[i]Yeah, my rant is starting early about all the c ..."

publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear: " I'm so sorry Caligirl. It was 2005 when I lo ..."

Insomniac - Nobody in Particular: "That bus photo obviously was not taken in Korea. ..."

Gem: "ed by: shibumi at November 18, 2017 04:34 PM (aT+B ..."

twitch [i]: "She also caught a mouse when she was coming off th ..."

mustbequantum: "The big problem for me with PETA and all the other ..."

Walter Freeman: "Mad chicken disease! ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64