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April 06, 2017

Shrieking Tantrum Throwing Titty Babies Score Another Awesome Victory Against Ever Saying Anything Even Mildly Clever [Warden]

If you've spent your week doing selfish things like working hard, playing with your kids and having face to face interactions with friends and family, then you might have missed this monstrous act of violence perpetrated against all women everywhere (and those who identify as such), including those who were born in the distant past, but were likely harmed by the unprecedented rippling effect of an event so unfathomably evil that it warped the time/space continuum and changed the very course of human history.

Content warning: The following picture contains graphic, implied verbal violence.


69865099-93b7-411c-953b-7ad131f0ff5e-large16x9_03.26rocks1.jpg

OMG throwing rocks at girls is NOT OKAY and NOT FUNNY.

The usual outrage junkies on Facebook and Twitter banded together and made sure they got their scalp, of course. Here's the inevitable forced apology, made under the threat of a planned store protest.

To whom we have offended with our recent billboard, please accept our apologies. We do not condone violence of any kind toward any being. We are humble enough to realize when we make a mistake and humble enough to realize the context in which we are speaking. We did not intend to cause controversy and our billboard communicated something we did not intend. We intended the billboard as a play on words to encourage the loving act of gift giving and are deeply saddened that it offended anyone.

Prior to this, the owners appeared on some cable news outlets to address the "controversy." I think they missed an opportunity here to show some backbone and slap down these digital hooligans.

Rather than apologize, they could have amped up the aggression by responding, "Well, we're not too worried. The kind of people who lose their minds over an innocent turn of phrase aren't our customer base--they're far too ugly and hateful for any man to gift them with something so thoughtful and precious as fine jewelry, so we can safely ignore their tantrums."

Oh, sure there would have been a shit storm. Good for them. They could have ridden it for two weeks on the cable outlets and scored themselves some free PR.

I'd lay down money that the response would have been largely positive and resulted in increased sales. People are fed up with all this chicken-shit bullying and, as Trump has shown us, these hypocritical scolds only have the power you grant them.

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posted by Open Blogger at 08:48 PM

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