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March 29, 2017

Social Justice Warrior High Commandant Anita Sarkesian Attacks Arch-Prog For Making Silly Joke About Being Attracted to Videogame Cartoon Character

The reason she attacked him for a disposable silly joke? Because the character he (jokingly) said he'd been aroused by (a purple cartoon fox called "Krystal," if I have this right) was "damseled" -- this is her cute term for "put in need of male assistance," like a damsel in distress -- and "trapped in a crystal," which is bad, because, I don't know, the Patriarchy wants to control women's bodies by trapping them in Space Crystals or something and she fears that finding a cartoon fox trapped in a space crystal sexually arousing might encourage men to trap women inside Space Crystals in real life.

Seriously, this was one of her tweets attacking this guy:

@femfreq She's LITERALLY trapped in a crystal. Finding a female character who is damseled and stripped of her agency arousing is kinda gross tbh.

We must not normalize the trapping of cartoon foxes inside Space Crystals, or something.

This is how you got Trump.

People are genuinely sick of this shit. We've had it up to our eyeballs with self-appointed priestesses scolding us for pretty much everything.

While these Immoral Priestesses demand that every woman's every single sexual choice be celebrated, they simultaneously demand that every man be made to wear a penile plethysmograph to make sure they're not experiencing any suspect blood flow to their members while thinking forbidden thoughts.

For sexual offenders [the penile plethysmograph] is typically used to determine the level of sexual arousal as the subject is exposed to sexually suggestive content, such as pictures, movies or audio, although some have argued that phallometry is not always appropriate for the evaluation of sexual preferences or treatment effects.

These anti-sex Jalverts aren't content just to hound you for your impure actions in real life. They are so zealous they they will chase you down for impure fantasies in your head.

And what authority do they have to do this? How have they gained any authority whatsoever to presume to Boner Shame people, except by asserting that they they have this authority?

Note to Anita Sarkesian and the rest of the Sex Repessive Maenads: You will not be allowed to control my body.

That's the language you idiots prefer, right?

More from Amy Alkon, who hints that the idea of dominating someone (or being dominated by someone) sexually is kind of such a widespread and harmless fantasy -- kind of vanilla, actually, which is why many knock Fifty Shades of Gray for not being as "edgy" as it pretends -- that it's a little shocking that this prudish witch Sarkesian hasn't heard of it.

Oh and just to remind everyone -- the guy who she's criticizing was joking, and I don't just mean "joking," I mean he was saying something that was obviously untrue and which he intended to be funny because it was so obviously untrue:

no offense but anyone who acts like they didn't jack off to Krystal from Star Fox Adventures is lying to you

-- Nick Robinson (@Babylonian) March 27, 2017

Hey, I didn't say it was a a good joke. I just said it was a joke.

Not only are you no longer permitted to have sexual thoughts which have not been pre-cleared as Sexually Permissible by Anita Sarkesian's Committee for Feminist Moral Hygiene, you're no longer even allowed to make jokes falsely claiming you've had such forbidden sexual thoughts.

Thanks to @zakn.

Bonous: I wonder what paroxysms Anita Sarkesian goes into when she hears Devo's Whip It. A woman is damseled by having a whip wrapped around her mid-section! It's so Control My Body I Just Can't Even Any More.

Bonous: Anna Puma mentioned that there is "Krystal" cosplay. Here's a video of this sexy, sexy cartoon fox.

digg this
posted by Ace at 02:03 PM

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