Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

'Let Those Cowards Come' | Main | The Morning Report 2/2/17
February 01, 2017

Wednesday Night's ONT Needs Coffee

Lately the ONTs have been going all night long. What do you need to follow them? Why, you need to stay awake, of course, but how?


Cup that size outta keep you up for 2 ONTs, maybe 3. For those of us with a less prodigious appetite for coffee, John Gabriel tells us How to Make the Perfect Cup of Coffee


Of course, this Sunday is Super Bowl LI, when all of America gathers around their TVs to watch a thrilling four hour extravaganza of commercials, occasionally interrupted by sweaty men in tight pants and pop singers preaching Proggy political values. This year my Ravens didn't make it, but we can take solace in the fact that we have the greatest kicker on the planet. Don't believe me? Check this out:

That's a 50 yard kick into a basketball hoop, nothing but net. Unreal.


Seven or eight years ago, after it became apparent what kind of president Obama was going to be, I wrote new lyrics appropriate to the Obama era to the song Hallelujah from Shrek. They sat around until I happened to mention that I had done so to Moron Petey S Dee at CPAC last year. Now Petey has a band, and he took my lyrics, rewrote a few lines to make them less Obama/Tea Party specific, and recorded it. He's released the single, you can listen to it here. Toss him a couple of bucks and download it if you like it.

(You can see the lyrics as I wrote them at my seldom used blog.)

(E.T.A. DON'T BUY ANY OF THEIR MUSIC ON FRIDAY (per their request). Bandcamp (website) is donating Friday's proceeds to fund illegal aliens)

Liberals, in One Ten Second Clip

More proof that Libs are idiots:

It took twelve of them to spell "Resist".

Wacky Canadians

One of the things about visiting Canada is the omnipresence of curling on TV. It's strangely fascinating. When I'm up there, I'll flip on the set, “Oh, curling”...and then realize that two hours has gone by. Well, the city of Winnipeg has gone a step further, combining curling with the Canadian board game crokinole, and installed a new outdoor rink for the new sport. (Curlinole? Crokling?) Not much to do in Manitoba during the winter, I'm guessing, and at least it beats last year's winter sport.

Life, What a Beautiful Choice

Muffin Bear.

If you can read through this moving story without tearing up, you're made of stern stuff. I couldn't. Let's pray that she gets the ability to say “mom” back.

Woman With Cancer Who Was Told She Couldn’t Have Kids Gives Birth to Quadruplets

Squeeee! Babies!


Age. Of. Miracles.

New glasses allow some color blind people to see some colors for the first time

“Is this what you see all the time?” The wonder in that man's voice and on his face is incredible. This short video made my whole day.

Game Over

Japanese arcade pioneer and 'Father of Pac-Man' has died.

Anarchy in the US

What the poser punks of Green Day can learn from the Sex Pistols

The modern punk scene, and Green Day in particular, needs to look back to the Sex Pistols’ massively influential 1977 release, “Never Mind the Bollocks Here’s the Sex Pistols.”
Pistols frontman John Lydon (then going by “Johnny Rotten”) was, like most punks, a dedicated foe of political correctness. The song “God Save the Queen,” a snarling, subversive anthem of the fed-up British working class, earned denunciations and threats from Parliament.
And “Bodies” is a shockingly graphic critique of abortion:
“Dragged on a table in factory, illegitimate place to be / In a packet in a lavatory, die little baby screaming / Body screaming f- - - - -g bloody mess / Not an animal, it’s an abortion.”
In defending the lyrics to Spin magazine in 2007, Lydon said: “I don’t think there’s a clearer song about the pain of abortion. The juxtaposition of all those different psychic things in your head and all the confusion, the anger, the frustration, you have to capture in those words.”

Back in the day, I was big into punk rock. Sex Pistols, Ramones, Circle Jerks, DK, Black Flag, Minor Threat, etc... I listened to them all and saw most of them play live multiple times. While there was frequently a left wing bent to much of the music (Listen to Circle Jerks' “Killing for Jesus” or DK's “We've Got a Bigger Problem Now”, for example), the scene was always based on the principles of freedom and an opposition to totalitarian government. It is distressing to see how many of the punk rock icons of my youth are now nothing more than lockstep lefties. My best friend from high school was a bigger punk than I was, and the last time I talked to him (several years ago now), he was living in Reno and driving union goons around to “get out the vote” for Harry Reid. Smh.

A Plague of Cats!


PETA Wants Boycott of 'A Dog's Purpose' Because a Dog Got Wet During Filming

No Second Date, Then?

Police: Edmonds woman declares, ‘I am a serial killer!’ and stabs date in the chest. I love how the article dances around the fact that this was obviously a Craigslist hookup.

Gender “Equity”

Kindergarten Teacher Bans Legos For Boys

Elementary teacher Karen Keller doesn’t allow male students to play with the blocks in order to encourage use among females. She even makes up excuses sometimes to set her agenda in order.
“I always tell the boys, ‘You’re going to have a turn’ — and I’m like, ‘Yeah, when hell freezes over’ in my head,” 

So the logic here seems to be, as it always is, that boys playing with Legos gives them an unfair advantage (never mind that the girls weren't kept from the Legos, they just freely chose not to play with them.), presumably leading to fewer girls getting degrees in math and science down the road (again, despite the fact that girls are quite free to pursue those fields if they want to). Ever notice that a majority of women making these arguments didn't chose STEM themselves? Tell ya what, sugar tits, why don't YOU get a degree in engineering, huh? You're a fucking kindergarten teacher (not disparaging kindergarten teachers, my first wife was one and she worked damn hard, but the academic rigor required to be one isn't even in the same universe as what's required for a STEM degree).

This guy is probably a GOOD teacher. Each student has their own unique high five.

Devil's Kettle

No One Knows Where This Minnesota Waterfall Goes

It goes down. Into that hole. Boy, that was easy.

Troll Level: Master

Got to go to Ted Cruz, because his troll of Deadspin last week resonated well into the weekend, making their Twitter feed all Ted all the time. Tedspin!

Whose a Good Dog?

He is. God's own dog.

good dog.jpg

Tonight's ONT brought to you by punishment detail:


How badly do you have to fuck up to be told to mop up a flood?

The Yahoo Group likes their coffee blacker than sin and thicker than a liberal's ignorance.

digg this
posted by WeirdDave at 09:51 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Martini Farmer: "I know some here take issue with calling Nikki Hal ..."

Divide by Zero [/i]: " [i]3. Rebuild the wall at the border’s urb ..."

Nikki Haley's luxuriously hairy nipples - Alex Jones Was Right: "I'd love to see the numbers for women. I bet rates ..."

whig: "149 If Trump had just used his brain and said befo ..."

It's me donna : "Nikki reminds me of the Wicked witch in the Wizard ..."

Gunner: "DeSantis will do the bare minimum, if that, to hel ..."

[/i][/b][/s][/u]I used to have a different nic: "Posted by: whig at March 04, 2024 08:16 AM (bk5GW) ..."

[/i][/b]andycanuck (2yu8s)[/s][/u]: "Robert F. Kennedy Jr @RobertKennedyJr Mar 3 The P ..."

LinusVanPelt : "I listened to a 20-minute summary of the Fani Will ..."

neverenoughcaffeine: "VIA. Too early, s/b black soldier worms. ..."

JROD: "@107 Tom Servo-Pity? I think she's running because ..."

JackStraw: ">> If Trump had just used his brain and said befor ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64