...You Might Be A Democrat

If you're more offended that Donald Trump once said the word 'pussy' than BIll Clinton getting blow jobs in the Oval Office by a 21-year old intern...

If you can listen to Madonna, Miley Cyrus, and Lady Gaga complain about how Trump degrades women and not burst out laughing...

If you think a person's gender is fluid but sexual preference is permanently fixed...

If you're against the death penalty but are OK with abortion...

If you think the NY Times is biased in favor of conservatives...

If you believe Russians hacked the election, but there's no need to investigate the possibility of voter fraud...

If you believe Russians hacked the election, but have no problem with the Clintons making deals to sell American uranium to Russian oligarchs...

If you believe shouting down conservative speakers is 'free speech'...

If you believe throwing rocks at police officers and breaking windows is 'free speech'...

If you believe that the Palestinians are entitled to a homeland, but the Israelis aren't...

If you punch someone in the face while you're wearing a "Love Trumps Hate" T-shirt...

If you want the government out of your bedroom while demanding free birth control...

If you can voice your presidential assassination fantasies in public without fear of consequences...

If you demand to be taken seriously while dressed up in a twat costume...

...you might be a Democrat!

(h/t Jeff Foxworthy)

[Update:]

I'll put some of the good contributions here:

If you think Lena Dunham is attractive but Melania Trump is not...
(h/t SMFH)

if you want to ban tobacco and legalize marijuana
(h/t duncan)

...if you think requiring ID is racist, but thinking blacks are too stupid and incompetent to attain any ID is not.
...if you think dressing up as a ghost and disarming blacks to keep them from voting was done by Republicans
...if you think every man is a rapist, but if he puts on a dress your daughter is perfectly safe with him in a locker room
(h/t Chris Taylor)

If you are 100% comfortable taking away crazy peoples' firearms but not their right to vote.
If you still don't know how you get more Trump.
(h/t Moron Robbie)

If you think free healthcare is free.
(h/t Sebastian Melmoth)

if you believe your right is to have the govt steal from everyone around you to give You neat stuff for free.
(h/t willow)

If you believe Islam is a religion of peace, but Christians are intolerant hatey haters.
(h/t Jane D'oh)

If you think a college graduate with a BA degree and a major in Women's Studies should receive a starting salary of $100,000 a year
(h/t mrp)

If you believe your actual violence is protected free speech but my protected free speech is actual violence.
(h/t Flyboy)

If you think THIS TIME you have Trump.
If you think Hillary Clinton winning the popular vote means something.
If you think Hillary Clinton might someday still be president.
If you think the message of the future is Shut The Fuck Up Whitey.
(h/t JackStraw)

If you believe that cops are mostly corrupt and violent and racist, but you also believe that they're the only people who should be allowed to have guns...
If you love to gloat about how "dumb" Americans are, while insisting that our public school system is perfect and can't be improved (except by throwing more money at it)...
(h/t Prothonotary Warbler)

If you think "piss Christ" is an important artistic achievement, but "piss Mohamed" is a hate crime, you might be a Democrat.
(h/t Dave_in_fla)

If you voted for Ted Kennedy every time he ran, but wouldn't vote for Trump because he said pussy, you might just be a Democrat.
(h/t Tammy al-Thor)

If you think reading the Bible in school violates the First Amendement but not inviting imams to get school kids to recite the shahada.
(h/t Insomniac)

If you think kids can decide what gender they'll be, but won't let them decide what do eat for lunch
(h/t josephistan)

Open Thread ...and add your own!

posted by OregonMuse at 08:08 PM

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