Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Politico Poll: 49% of Americans Found Trump's Inaugural Address "Good" or "Excellent;" 51% Say It Was "Optimistic;" 46% "Presidential;" 44% "Inspiring" | Main | Planned Parenthood Posts Ad About Woman Deciding to Carry Baby to Term
January 25, 2017

Gawker For Fat Sports Geeks Gets Owned by Ted Cruz, Then Whines That It Didn't Get Owned, Then, Bizarrely, Makes Open Challenge to Critics to Meet it in "UFC Octagon"

So you probably heard about this.

Sports Geek Gawker, aka Deadspin (Sports Coverage For People Who Don't Like Sports, as its video game blog is video game coverage for people who don't like videogames), did a creepy Gawker thing by inviting people to take secret pictures of Ted Cruz playing basketball, in an effort to humiliate him, obviously.

In response, Ted Cruz posted this picture:

That's a picture of Grayson Allen, who looks a bunch like Ted Cruz.

Like, a scary-bunch like him:

So, moderately funny. And not in any way an insult to Gawker for Sports Nerdz, just a good-humored joke.

But of course Gawker for People Who Never Played the Game can't just take a joke (which isn't even at their expense) without spazzing out. That's how you know none of these pansies ever actually played real sports -- rather than just saying something a seasoned competitor would say, like "nice shot" or "I'll let that one count," the whoever was running the Twitter feed of Deadpsin instead replied, insanely:

Go eat shit. @tedcruz

When people began noting that Ted Cruz had owned the woman at Fat Couch Jockey Gawker seeking embarrassing pictures of him, she replied with what is considered world-round conclusive legal proof that she had been owned. To wit, she said:

I wasn't owned.

Case closed.

People then began informing her that she was in fact owned, and owned hard. This was pretty delightful.

Two of the "Yes you got owned, dear" tweets were especially good:

Apparently someone really did re-write Wikipedia to note the update in Deadspin's ownership.

Then came this:

In response all this, Deadspin's editor then challenged any "cucks" who correctly stated that Ted Cruz now had a 100% ownership stake in Deadspin to a fight in the "UFC octagon."

Several people, including this guy from Barstool Sports, say they actually have reached out to this very-imposing geekblog editor to propose a fight in a "UFC octagon," but as of yet, I have not heard of any acceptance of the proposed fight.

His Wikipedia page was subsequently updated as well, to reflect the fact that Ted Cruz now owns and uses Tim Marchman just as thoroughly as Immortan Joe owned and used his seven broodmares.

On January, 24th 2017 Tim threw an epic tantrum because he was owned like a bitch by Senator Ted Cruz. He challenged the internet to an MMA fight because he knew nothing would happen, and he couldn't possibly look worse. Barstool Sports Editor Kmarko also owned Tim. Through 25 days of 2017 he is definitely the biggest loser of the year on the internet or in real life.

And yes, I'd like a picture of ted cruz in Immortan Joe's mask, if you're Man Enough to meet me in the UFC Photoshop Octagon.

digg this
posted by Ace at 04:22 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Sock Monkey * Invictus Maneo : "somedood I'm very aware of who Antifa is. The s ..."

Sam Adams: "Hard to know who to believe. Thankfully, the same ..."

Miklos actually quotes Socrates: "this means we know fuckall. Posted by: somedood ..."

m: ">>>The NSA ... says it lakes the ability (MuckRoc ..."

somedood: ""I believe the shooter is Maxwell Yearick. Posted ..."

Sam Adams: "How long has our national media been comparing Rep ..."

Maxwell Yearick: "I believe the shooter is Sam Adams ..."

somedood: ""Sure I saw all that in the 2017 attempt to win CA ..."

Chic Hot club: "It's very simple to find out any topic on net as c ..."

Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, : "Thanks for that meme, Biden's Dog! Need t-shirts.. ..."

the more Mikloses the merrier: "Yep, my bad. Clumsy attempt at humor. Not good for ..."

Sam Adams: "Just saw a video from Thomas Mathew Crooks, statin ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64