Ace of Spades HQ

« Hillary Clinton Secretly Enlisted Feminist Writer Jessica Valenti to Carry Her Water in Branding Bernie Sanders as "Anti-Woman" | Main | Overnight Open Thread (21 Oct 2016) »

October 21, 2016

We need Peanut-Butter Control...At Least In Wisconsin [CBD]

Woman mistakes town meeting for Donald Trump rally and smears 30 cars with smooth peanut butter in protest

There too many fantastic quotations in this article, and I can't excerpt it all, but here are a few....

Witnesses claimed the 32-year-old entered the meeting at 9:30pm holding a "family-size jar of low-sodium, creamy natural Jif" peanut butter, shouting about how much she hated the Republican candidate.

The detail is fantastic! Not just peanut butter, but low-sodium, creamy natural Jif!

When officers from Portage Co. Sheriff Department questioned Ms Ferguson, she claimed she hadn't left her apartment that night, while allegedly licking her fingers repeatedly, according to the complaint.

Pro-tip....eat the evidence BEFORE the cops show up.

"Fortunately it wasn't chunky peanut butter, so vehicles didn't get scratched," said Chief Deputy Dan Kontos.

THAT is good police work. He knew the evidence cold.

But what about a photo? Well, the article claims she is 32-years-old. If that is what passes for 32 in Wisconsin, then my most fervent recommendation for all of our Wisconsinites is to get the hell out!

This should make it better though, and much closer to what I think of when I think of young Wisconsinites (Wisconsonians? Wisconsiners? Cheese-heads?)

posted by Open Blogger at 07:46 PM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Monday Overnight Open Thread - January 20, 2025 [Doof] Invasion of the Apple Snatchers Cafe At Last Night's Rally, Trump Was Joined on the Stage By His Strongest Totally-Not-Gay Supporters Quick Hits Surprise: Defender of Normzzz and Protector of the Criminal FBI Pardons Terrorist Who Murdered Two FBI Agents Quick Update on "Team DeLulu" Cope Border Patrol Trucks Are En Route to the Southern Border Elections Have Consequences: The TSA Official Who Put Tulsi Gabbard on the Terrorist Watch List Has Been Fired The Inaugural Ceremonies, Continued "A Revolution of Common Sense:" Trump's Inaugural Address "For Americans, January 20, 2025 is Liberation Day." Absent Friends Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups	« Hillary Clinton Secretly Enlisted Feminist Writer Jessica Valenti to Carry Her Water in Branding Bernie Sanders as "Anti-Woman" \| Main \| Overnight Open Thread (21 Oct 2016) » October 21, 2016 We need Peanut-Butter Control...At Least In Wisconsin [CBD] Woman mistakes town meeting for Donald Trump rally and smears 30 cars with smooth peanut butter in protest There too many fantastic quotations in this article, and I can't excerpt it all, but here are a few.... Witnesses claimed the 32-year-old entered the meeting at 9:30pm holding a "family-size jar of low-sodium, creamy natural Jif" peanut butter, shouting about how much she hated the Republican candidate. The detail is fantastic! Not just peanut butter, but low-sodium, creamy natural Jif! When officers from Portage Co. Sheriff Department questioned Ms Ferguson, she claimed she hadn't left her apartment that night, while allegedly licking her fingers repeatedly, according to the complaint. Pro-tip....eat the evidence BEFORE the cops show up. "Fortunately it wasn't chunky peanut butter, so vehicles didn't get scratched," said Chief Deputy Dan Kontos. THAT is good police work. He knew the evidence cold. But what about a photo? Well, the article claims she is 32-years-old. If that is what passes for 32 in Wisconsin, then my most fervent recommendation for all of our Wisconsinites is to get the hell out! This should make it better though, and much closer to what I think of when I think of young Wisconsinites (Wisconsonians? Wisconsiners? Cheese-heads?) posted by Open Blogger at 07:46 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments JackStraw: "If Trump was a real president he would volunteer H ..." Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : " 513 And why do I have to listen to Metallica on M ..." Cheri: "581 - just his part. The rest had to be better. ..." Miklos McMiklos, of the Auld and Ancient Clan McMiklos: "Raising a glass to morons present and departed, pl ..." Jane D'oh: "Come on, Trump. An eager nation waits to see what ..." nurse ratched, garbage: "Didn't one of MLK's daughters endorse Trump? ..." Martini Farmer: "The majority of federal employees spend their time ..." Diogenes: "Damn...was it that bad? Posted by: eleven at Janu ..." Pug Mahon, Day 7 of Funemployment: "I pretty much stopped watching the inaugural stuff ..." bluebell: "Sheesh. More blathering. ..." Alberta Oil Peon: "I haven't been there, but there is a place in Flat ..." Axeman: "Liberty Ball is best. Posted by: Boss Moss at Jan ..." Recent Entries Monday Overnight Open Thread - January 20, 2025 [Doof] Invasion of the Apple Snatchers Cafe At Last Night's Rally, Trump Was Joined on the Stage By His Strongest Totally-Not-Gay Supporters Quick Hits Surprise: Defender of Normzzz and Protector of the Criminal FBI Pardons Terrorist Who Murdered Two FBI Agents Quick Update on "Team DeLulu" Cope Border Patrol Trucks Are En Route to the Southern Border Elections Have Consequences: The TSA Official Who Put Tulsi Gabbard on the Terrorist Watch List Has Been Fired The Inaugural Ceremonies, Continued "A Revolution of Common Sense:" Trump's Inaugural Address "For Americans, January 20, 2025 is Liberation Day." Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really* Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64