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December 16, 2015

A Brief Comparison of the Establishment's and Base's View of the GOP Hierarchy

What the Base thinks the GOP Hierarchy is:

1. The Establishment
2. Insiders and Major Donors
3. Lobbyists and Corporate Interests
4. The Base Voters

What the Establishment knows the GOP Hierarchy is:

1. The Establishment
2. Insiders and Major Donors
3. Lobbyists and Corporate Interests
4. Saudi Princes Loaded With Hookers and Blow
5. Illegal immigrant children
6. The parents of illegal immigrant children
7. Cousins of the parents illegal immigrant children
8. The pot dealer of the cousins of the parents of illegal immigrant children
9. The Corn Lobby
10. The Corn farmers
11. The corn. The actual stalks of fucking corn
12. The Ex-Im Bank
13. The Bank of America
14. Citibank
15. Banksy
16. Right-leaning Independent voters
17. Left-leaning Independent voters
18. "Our Democratic Friends across the aisle"
19. That wayward lad who shot Reagan who seems "persuadable"
20. People who haven't voted for a Republican since 1960
21. People who are barred from voting Republican because they were convicted of a felony
22. People who are barred from voting Republican because they were convicted of a felony and are also foreigners and also dead
23. Mohammad Atta
24. Other foreign terrorists
25. The illegal immigrant children of foreign terrorists
26. A stalk of corn once touched by the illegal immigrant children of foreign terrorists

and finally:

27. The base, aka "The Garbage People Who Embarrass Us So"

You see, it's all a difficult political balancing act.

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posted by Ace at 03:24 PM

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