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November 05, 2015

Sacre Vache! Thieves Steal 4 Tonnes of Comte Cheese, In What Police Are Calling "A Crime That Happened This Century"

Four tonnes of comte. Street value: almost one half of one million dollars, maybe more if you step on it and cut it with brie.

Police describe themselves as "vaguely interested" in this case.

Interpol has been called, but didn't pick up a phone. So an email was sent. The email was marked, "When you get to it."

Some thieves in France have made off with a rather odd prize recently -- four tonnes of cheese.

Police were called to a break-in on Monday in which the owner of the Napier dairy in the town of Goux-les-Usiers discovered some crooks had stolen roughly 100 wheels of comte, a luxury cheese which can only be made in the Franche-Comte region using unpasteurised cow's milk.

Unpasteurized -- that's the good shit. That's what hooks you, that's what makes you a junkie. Once you're hooked on cheese made of unpasteurized milk, you'll spend the rest of your life "Chasing the Cow," walking down lonely streets and breaking into seedy fromageries looking to score your next "wheel."

...

It might seem like a crime by someone with a fairly extreme dairy fetish, but police believe the cheese was stolen by a gang who will sell it on the black market.

Comte can sell for 40 [Euros] a pound, making it just as valuable to thieves as jewellery or electrical goods.

You can tell how "pure" cheese is by sticking your pinky into it and then rubbing the cream on your gums. If your gums feel like they're on fire -- that's pure, baby.

Comte is one of the new so-called "Designer Drugs" to hit the streets these days. Police say it's made with a synthetic mold that gives the cheese high a "special kick."


Meanwhile, tens of thousands dollars worth of Welsh biscuits were stolen last week in a crime police are terming "a robbery."

Crime does not pay, but it sure eats well.






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