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October 31, 2015

Top Ten Worst Halloween Treats


Top Ten Worst Halloween Treats

10. New Gender-Fluidity Jolly Ranchers (TM) that taste like Strawberry Peach on one side and Chewing Tobacco and snakeblood on the other

9. A little coloring-book pamphlet of Michelle Obama's "Let's Move!" initiative

8. A small tube of survival seeds, because there's no candy as sweet as Being Prepared

7. Handfuls of Kaboom Cereal in factory-irregular lunch bags

6. A fun-sized Carbon Credit

5. An index card containing a set of customized pronouns, including xis, xer, xyzyr, and Lolo

4. A CD download of Hilary Clinton's sweatiest Yoga Routines

3. A laminated card explaining the steps of securing Affirmative Consent

2. "Gender Equity" candies made in 77% the size of a full-sized candy, to let children know The Struggle Continues

...and the worst Halloween treat...

1. A ten minute "Spoooooky Lecture" about the dangers of not signing up for the Affordable Care Act

Joke credit: @timjohnsonMD for the carbon credit joke (and the premise of the list), @Kanamit2 for the Affordable Care Act gag.


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posted by Ace at 06:00 PM

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