Rocket Propelled Gun Thread - [Weirddave] | Main | Halloween Thread: Funny Costume, Cute Costume, and "Candle Cove"
October 31, 2015

Top Ten Worst Halloween Treats

Top Ten Worst Halloween Treats

10. New Gender-Fluidity Jolly Ranchers (TM) that taste like Strawberry Peach on one side and Chewing Tobacco and snakeblood on the other

9. A little coloring-book pamphlet of Michelle Obama's "Let's Move!" initiative

8. A small tube of survival seeds, because there's no candy as sweet as Being Prepared

7. Handfuls of Kaboom Cereal in factory-irregular lunch bags

6. A fun-sized Carbon Credit

5. An index card containing a set of customized pronouns, including xis, xer, xyzyr, and Lolo

4. A CD download of Hilary Clinton's sweatiest Yoga Routines

3. A laminated card explaining the steps of securing Affirmative Consent

2. "Gender Equity" candies made in 77% the size of a full-sized candy, to let children know The Struggle Continues

...and the worst Halloween treat...

1. A ten minute "Spoooooky Lecture" about the dangers of not signing up for the Affordable Care Act

Joke credit: @timjohnsonMD for the carbon credit joke (and the premise of the list), @Kanamit2 for the Affordable Care Act gag.

digg this
posted by Ace at 06:00 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
My life is insanity : "No football watching: there is now potential for ..."

Bruce: "For a long time I've not watched full games of any ..."

Skip: "Been watching the Eagles 50 years, think I'm done, ..."

Vic[/i]: "test ..."

RickZ: "[I]Demographic (kids just aren't that into the NFL ..."

Guy Smiley: "Reason I ask about the population, I'm thinking of ..."

Bruce: "Have only wore my canister work mask and now face ..."

Skip: "1st cup gone, guess I should make breakfast to go ..."

My life is insanity : ">>Maybe the No Fun League has gone too far this ti ..."

Guy Smiley: "I had occasion to call an Uber yesterday. You have ..."

RickZ: "[I]I thought the total population of the USA was a ..."

Skip: "Have only wore my canister work mask and now face ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64