The Terror of the #DEATHBALLOON

If you guys don't know to be panicked and screamey, a missile-sensor balloon with a long trailing antenna got free, and Shep "Sensationalist" Smith is trying to make it sound like aerial Armageddon.

He insisted "It doesn't work!" despite having never heard of this missile-detection system before. All we know is that the anchor failed. But Shep is in screaming and hysteria mode.

This is a real quote. He noted that the long cable trailing the balloon had hit a transmission tower, and knocked out local power. Then he said, and remember, I'm not joking about this, "It's all fun and games to talk about power outages, but what happens when it crosses a baby carriage?!"

Or words to that effect. "Baby carriage" was in the mix, there.

Always eager for a Car Chase or a Superdome Slaughter Cannibal-a-rama, Shep Smith is beclowning himself about the #DEATHBALLOON that has come to kill us all.

Hopefully a car chase will come along and she can shrill about that.

With this and the swirling chaos of blood and fire we're going through because we HAVE NO LEADER, hell, I don't know what I'm going to do. All I can think to do is throw a rope over a beam and hope I can gather the courage to hang myself before #DEATHBALLOON eats my soul.

Pictures of the rampaging MURDER-BLIMP at Twitchy.

It looks like the skull of a mighty serpent.

Update: The ancient prophecies says that #DEATHBALLOONS come in swarms, like locusts, but really big, and filled with helium.

Wolf Blitzer Checks In: A commenter said he really said this.

posted by Ace at 04:50 PM

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