Fox Hires Meghan McCain as "Contributor," For Some Reason | Main | Hillary Clinton's Endless Unspooling of Her Tales of Gendered Oppression, Chapter 94
July 16, 2015

Obama: The People Who Didn't Vote for Me Must Pay for High-Speed Internet For the People Who Did Vote For Me

Obama is pretending, as we used to pretend back in 1996, that the internet is for education and Job Training and Job Hunting.

This is so absurd that it takes someone particularly shameless to peddle it. The Internet, in reality, is for entertainment, porn, World of Warcraft, porn, Netflix, porn, and also porn.

But we must come together in a public-private partnership (that means you pay for this) in order to guarantee not just that low-income people have the internet, but specifically, the high-speed internet needed for sick video playback with near-zero buffering times.

Right now there are millions of low income children who being ganked on World of Warcraft due to unacceptable lag-times. #IsThisAmerica? Do we really want to see a young and striving young poor child with a DPS-specced Hunter die in a raid only because we were too cowardly to spend more of our money on him?

So: I guess we can stop with welfare now, as the poor now have all necessities covered, and we're now getting into the softest of trivial lifestyle upgrades.

Do we really need to encourage low-income children to spend more time as TV watchers and time-wasters?

digg this
posted by Ace at 02:00 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
JQ: "Nice work, Pixy! I wish I knew enough to understan ..."

JQ: "After this important message from our sponsors ..."

Pixy Misa: "I try to get these posted by 7PM on weekdays, whic ..."

JQ: "Okay, okay, will nood ..."

JQ: "This is the life! ..."

JQ: "Ahhhhh... ..."

JQ: "Thanks for the huge space to relax into... ..."

JQ: "You're up early today, Pixy! ..."

JQ: "Here we go again ..."

JQ: "Hello? ..."

JQ: "Hi! ..."

Beloved Uncle Miklos, Candidate for Coroner, District 99: "We conclude that young staffer watches too many mo ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64