Obama: The People Who Didn't Vote for Me Must Pay for High-Speed Internet For the People Who Did Vote For Me

Obama is pretending, as we used to pretend back in 1996, that the internet is for education and Job Training and Job Hunting.

This is so absurd that it takes someone particularly shameless to peddle it. The Internet, in reality, is for entertainment, porn, World of Warcraft, porn, Netflix, porn, and also porn.

But we must come together in a public-private partnership (that means you pay for this) in order to guarantee not just that low-income people have the internet, but specifically, the high-speed internet needed for sick video playback with near-zero buffering times.

Right now there are millions of low income children who being ganked on World of Warcraft due to unacceptable lag-times. #IsThisAmerica? Do we really want to see a young and striving young poor child with a DPS-specced Hunter die in a raid only because we were too cowardly to spend more of our money on him?

So: I guess we can stop with welfare now, as the poor now have all necessities covered, and we're now getting into the softest of trivial lifestyle upgrades.

Do we really need to encourage low-income children to spend more time as TV watchers and time-wasters?

posted by Ace at 02:00 PM

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