You Need to Know This

Big scoop.

Two of them, actually.

Oh, speaking of things you need to know. On a program called "American Ninja Warrior," there was an incredible triumph for the disadvantaged sex.

Incredibly, Brent Steffansen, a man of remarkable dedication and skill, successfully coached some woman into a creditable performance on the obstacle course.

Brent Steffanson wasn't the only hero here, though. That obstacle course was tough, and it took other heroes like former NFL receiver Tim Brown to provide some woman with inspiration, moral guidance, and intellectual firepower so that she could succeed.

To say nothing of the other people responsible for this coup, and by other people, I mean other male people -- the intelligent, forward-thinking men who designed this course, the announcers who invested it with such drama, the random male persons who cheered some woman on (thereby helping her overcome the lack of confidence to which her sex is cursed)... even the male janitors who wiped the sweat of previous contestants from the stage -- they too are heroes.

This performance proves that there is literally nothing some woman can't accomplish while under the direct supervision and control of more capable men.

Let it be known from this day until the last day, there is nothing a woman can't achieve if she can just shut her trap and listen to her man for once.

posted by Ace at 04:45 PM

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