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April 09, 2014

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Poses Nude on Cover of Rolling Stone, with "The Constitution" Written on Her Back


Well, first of all, if you want to see a partially naked woman, who shows you a discreet amount of topbutt, you can click on the Daily Caller.

I'm annoyed, generally, by the Nudity Gambit -- do these allegedly "artistic" types have no other bullets in their ammo belts as far as buzzworthy shots? -- and more annoyed that what is on her back is not the Constitution, but rather "The Constitution, As Imagined By Ignoramuses, Dummies, and Other Rolling Stone Editors."

At the bottom of her plastic temporary tattoo is the large signature of one John Hancock. You know, John Hancock, famous signatory of the Constitution... except he didn't sign the Constitution at all.

He signed the Declaration of Independence. Most people knew this, long ago. I guess they don't now.

What I'm guessing this is is the Declaration of Independence, but with "We the People" from the Constitution appended at its top... or, more likely (now that I look at the top of the tattoo) part of the Constitution with the end of the Declaration of Independence at its bottom.

Oh well, no one ever accused Rolling Stone or artistic types of sweating the details of the American legacy.

So here's what probably happened:

Someone at Rolling Stone was surprised, when making this tattoo, to not see John Hancock's name at the bottom of it, as he expected.

Then he realized "Oh crap, the Declaration of Independence is a completely different document!!!"

Then he realized, "Gee willickers, much of the American population (and most of the readership of Rolling Stone) is as historically illiterate as I am, and if they don't see 'John Hancock' at the bottom of our 'Constitution,' they'll think we made an error. So we'd better put that at the bottom of the tattoo, or else a bunch of dummies won't know this is the Constitution at all."

Thus, we have to introduce an error to get the dummies to come to the correct conclusion.


What's most annoying is that they're probably right.

I don't know what this means but it's funny: There's a major #WarOnWomen going on in the comments, because a lot of neanderthals have chosen to sexualize Ms. Louis-Dreyfus merely because she chose to sexualize herself.

How dare they.

This has led to questions about where the Bill of Rights might be tattooed. The possibilities, as I understand them, are:

"Freedom Flaps" and "Coinslot". Nuff said.

Thanks to "Nip Sip." The actual references are by "Something" and "weft-cut loop," respectively.

Rolling Stone

The magazine for smart, educated, socially-aware young Americans who are over 60 years old and who are also as dumb as a box of chicken farts.

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posted by Ace at 02:21 PM

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