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April 01, 2014

Great, Another Upper Income White Woman Crusade: The Girl Scouts May Give Up Selling Cookies, as Cookies are Contrary to Optimal Public Health Messaging

First world problems.

I don't have any problem with the Girl Scouts ending the cookie sales because I'm not quite sure why they're selling cookies in the first place. Oh sure, I know it's for fundraising, and I've had to do that for teams myself.

And I always hated it. It's a scam, isn't it? Well, the overpriced candy bars are a scam. The Girl Scout cookies are almost a deal.

Still, it's weird to have kids out there selling candy to adult stranger. Reverse this transaction and you have grounds for arrest.

But that's not why the tradition is being reconsidered, of course. It's being reconsidered because of Concern.

I've really had it up to my neck with the Concern Pageant this whole f***ing country has become.

Human beings have an intense desire to compete, and a desire to feel like they're the best at something.

I get that.

But I am sick of these loser motherf***ers who are not good at anything so they've decided that the field they'll compete on is the field of Concern.

And they'll Out-Concern everyone else. And if a challenger arises, someone who's really a Natural at Being Concerned About Bullshit, why, they'll just run Concern Windsprints until dawn and drink Concern Energy Drinks until they're better at Concern than that young upstart, too.

Can we just give these people Participation Medals? Will that satisfy their urge to compete in the Olympics of Microaggressions?

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posted by Ace at 08:18 PM

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