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January 17, 2014

That Should Do the Trick: Obamacare's Six Hour Internet Telethon to "Get Covered" Features Contortionist, Guy Whose Expertise is "Drunk Cooking," and of Course... Richard Simmons

Well! Why didn't you say so the first time? Now I'm totally stoked about paying far too much for skinny-network high-deductible overpriced health care!!!!

"Setting this positive and structural foundation for your life,"
whatever that could possibly mean

You can, but probably should not, see what this might have looked like by cueing the below video to around the twenty minute mark (which comes early in the video -- bear in mind, it's three hours of this sort of thing).

OUT: Footie Pajama Guy

IN: Richard Simmons, Disco Contortionism, and cocaine-fueled gay nightmares

The downside of the Viral Mentality (and is there an upside...?) is that those who think in terms of "make it go viral" seem indifferent to whether you're "Going Viral" in a good way or a bad way.

Our celebrity-smitten, Instant FameWhore culture does not seem to distinguish any longer between becoming admirably famous or simply becoming famous.

I'm sure the left will tell us in a week that we're all homophobes for wondering precisely who out there looks to Richard Simmons as an aspirational model, and that they totally Double Secret Probation tricked us into talking about this, because that was their object all along -- "Get talkin'," you know.

And yet... and yet. Oscar Wilde famously said he'd rather be talked about badly than not talked about at all, but this is a comparison between two inferior choices, isn't it? Obviously one would like to be talked about in a positive way over either of those two possibilities.

But not to those possessed of the Viral Mentality. The Kardashian Imperative says the only important thing is that you are talked about, period. Famous, infamous, lauded, notorious... who cares? The only important thing is that people know your picture.

Correction: There are not three hours of this.

There are more than six hours. 6:18, in fact.

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posted by Ace at 01:05 PM

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