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Monday Overnight Open Thread - March 31, 2025 [Doof] Rock-It Man Cafe New Mexico GOP Headquarters Firebombed As Snow Woke Crashes and Burns, Hollywood Scrambles to Cancel Woke Projects In "Crisis Mode Panic" Democrats Defeat Four Conservative Constitutional Amendments in Lousiana Kash Patel: The FBI's Years Long Stonewalling on the 2017 Congressional Baseball Game Assassin Is Over France Convicts Marie Le Pen of Fake Embezzlement, Bans Her From Running in 2027, an Election In Which She is the Front-Runner Trump: "I'm Not Joking," I'm Thinking About Running for a Third Term THE MORNING RANT: Another Climate Apocalypse Deadline Just Passed Absent Friends
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January 01, 2014
Ten Years of Nonsense: JackM's Epic PoemsI have counted the votes, and you morons decided that you wanted me to publish the epic poem that won Fox News' Miss Suzanne Sena's heart. It's perhaps the finest work ever published in the history of the blogosphere. I say that humbly. The credit, of course, does not go to me. I am simply the vessel thru which Suzanne Sena's inspirational essence flows. (See how great that line is? It merely hints at what is to come.) I'll put this epic masterpiece in the extended entry, so that you won't have to read it if this is of no interest to you. Don't let the fact that this will most likely be thought of by future generations as a work that is as important as "Beowulf" prejudice your decision. And now, for your voyeuristic pleasure, I present to you my masterpiece. How long did it take me to write it? A lifetime, my friends. A lifetime. UPDATE: They are trying to bury my masterpiece with lots of new posts, so I am bumping this one closer to the top. Humor me, or I'll publish Volume II. UPDATE 2: (Jack M.- 2014)Thank you, Ace, for including me in your "Ten Years of Nonsense" series. Some are asking some questions below, so I just wanted to provide a couple of quick answers: Ace and I are different people (he's the one with the hobo and e-cig fetish, although not necessarily in that order. Ok, yes, exactly in that order.), this is exactly as the post appeared originally (would y'all repaint the Mona Lisa? No, no you wouldn't. But you're morons, so if you did it would come out like this, and the intro line about the "votes" is just strangely serendipitous. Also commenter AD is perhaps the greatest literary reviewer in the history of AOSHQ commenters. Jokes aside, I appreciate greatly being included in Ace's "Ten Years" series. It's always been fun to blog here, and I'm grateful that Ace has given me opportunities over the last ten years to engage in silliness like this. Y'all are a great bunch of morons, and I wish y'all a very Happy 2014. Jack M. (@jackmcoldcuts on twitter) I remember the first time I saw her, She was hosting an entertainment section on But as I watched her light up my screen Electric Elegance. I remember my Dad. No, my Father was not Casey Casem. It's the moral that counts, really. Did you ever notice the tiny rainbows That's like Suzanne Sena's Speaking of Red Eye, Which brings me back to Suzanne. It turns out that she knows her rock and roll. So I said "The Beatles", known to you morons as "The White Album". Anyway, when we got home. That's older than me. Ah, Suzanne! Geez the Patriots are killing the Chargers. While I'm watching TV of course. After all he said "And in the end, Which doesn't really mean anything in the context of the reference. Tell it to Maya Angelou, suckas. That crap doesn't rhyme. Ahhh....Red Eye. But I disagree, Greedy Bastard. Suzanne No, I'm not stalling for time. Actually, that last paragraph was a lie. Suzanne, Suzanne I know a guy. Cholicy and ugly little bastard. And when those tears were running down his You may be wondering, But you know who would never be mean to a baby? And the blush in her cheeks, Sometimes free association is a bitch. Make no mistake tho. You know what else I want on the record? And for that, I will always be grateful. I just wanted to say that. For she will be my bride. I got ripped off though. So the sign read "uzanne ena + ack m." Which, in many ways, I guess I should be grateful though. There are rules, people. But my lovely Suzanne knows all the language rules. So, Miss Sena, as you can see. Of course as a resident blogger here at AoS HQ, I'm just saying. So if you find yourself needing a date, Would it be ok if I sent out a press release? Thus ends the poem that won me the enduring love and affection of Fox News' Miss Suzanne Sena. If you want an invite to our future wedding, please e-mail LauraW. She organized Aceapalooza, so I figure she can handle this. | Recent Comments
nurse ratched:
"Cat barf. In my bed.
Change the sheets.
A ..."
Teresa in Fort Worth, Plucky Comic Relief, AoS Ladies Brigade - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn.: "Miklos, what are they looking for? ..." Teresa in Fort Worth, Plucky Comic Relief, AoS Ladies Brigade - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn.: "I can't remember what they gave me for my biopsy, ..." Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come: "[i]482 Greenwich Mean Time just called said bed ..." Skip : "1/2 hour to go ..." RickZ: "[i]Downtown Two Gown Rick Posted by: Miklos hopes ..." Miklos hopes the Ladies pays you your damn moneys: "I always go with the Two Gown Theory. Posted by: ..." Miklos like his comfy bed and Special bankie: "Greenwich Mean Time just called said bedtime ..." RickZ: "I always go with the Two Gown Theory. ..." RickZ: "It's springtime and medical procedures are popping ..." Miklos is infrequently affronted: "Blood or urine, Miklos. You got a boo-boo? Oh. ..." JQ: "Midnight here. Time for shut-eye. Good night, a ..." Recent Entries
Daily Tech News 1 April 2025
Monday Overnight Open Thread - March 31, 2025 [Doof] Rock-It Man Cafe New Mexico GOP Headquarters Firebombed As Snow Woke Crashes and Burns, Hollywood Scrambles to Cancel Woke Projects In "Crisis Mode Panic" Democrats Defeat Four Conservative Constitutional Amendments in Lousiana Kash Patel: The FBI's Years Long Stonewalling on the 2017 Congressional Baseball Game Assassin Is Over France Convicts Marie Le Pen of Fake Embezzlement, Bans Her From Running in 2027, an Election In Which She is the Front-Runner Trump: "I'm Not Joking," I'm Thinking About Running for a Third Term THE MORNING RANT: Another Climate Apocalypse Deadline Just Passed Search
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