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October 25, 2013

Acestin Spades: International Blog of Mystery

Dr. John E.-vil: Gentlemen, I have a plan. It's called blackmail. The Head Ewok has gone on vacation and left us the keys. In his absence we will hijack his URL and route the traffic to Healthcare.gov. Either the Obama administration pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Barack Obama has caused Healthcare.gov to be released years too early and without adequate testing, causing it to crash.

Coblogger Number Two: The Obama administration *did* release Healthcare.gov years too early, and it did shit the bed as expected.

Dr. John E.-vil: Right, people you have to tell me these things, okay? I've been tweeting about that shitty Orca launch for a year, okay? Throw me a frickin' bone here! I'm the boss! Need the info.

Dr. John E.-vil: Okay no problem. Here's my second plan. Back in the 60's, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a "laser." Using these "lasers," we guide precision weapons and cause Libyan leader Colonel Qaddafi to be overthrown by Islamic militants, plunging the country and the entire middle east into chaos. That is unless the world pays us a hefty ransom.

Coblogger Number Two: That ... also already has happened.

Dr. John E.-vil: Shit. Oh hell, let's just do what we always do. Swipe some content from Allah at Hot Air and turn it into a blog post.

Here’s a tidbit on yesterday’s HHS conference call which lays bare the agency’s new approach to accountability. Sebelius doesn’t work for you, right? Well, then, why should she have to answer your questions?
According to some accounts, the project’s managers at the Department of Health and Human Services assured the White House that any remaining problems could be worked out once the Web site went live, but other senior department officials predicted serious trouble and advised delaying the rollout.

But on a conference call with reporters on Thursday, Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services officials twice declined to answer questions about whether Kathleen Sebelius, Mr. Obama’s health secretary, knew about the problems. Asked if Marilyn Tavenner, the agency’s director, or anyone else had alerted Ms. Sebelius, an official cut off a reporter.

“Next question,” he said.

First of all, that should be FYNQ. I mean, if you're going to throw a brushback pitch, throw the damned thing.

But, seriously, these people nominally work for us*. I don't think it's too early at all for a little, "what did they know and when did they know it?" action.

But our esteemed Juicebox JournoList corps doesn't seem to agree:

He's not sure what Sebilius knows, but he doesn't have a question for her. Ummm, how about "what do you know?". Just spitballin' here, but the best way to get information out of people would seem to be, you know, asking them questions.

Now of course she'll just stonewall but eventually enough people will ask enough questions and get enough partial answers to piece the puzzle together. These people used to be called journalists.

* I was going to work the "who does Number Two work for?" quote in here, but it was just too much.

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posted by Andy at 04:20 PM

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