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September 25, 2013

And Now a Palate Cleanser About a Woman Who Makes Her Man Sammiches So He'll Marry Her

I've heard of worse tactics.

I think she's overvaluing Sandwich Production at the expense of Horn Reduction, but at least she's got a plan.

Since last June, a young woman has attracted attention from culinary world icons such as Emeril Lagasse, Michael White and Ken Friedman with 300sandwiches.com, a beautifully photographed blog that documents her quest to woo her boyfriend with bread-and-meat creations. We now reveal that the woman behind the blog is our very own Page Six senior reporter, STEPHANIE SMITH. Here, she tells her story — and shares some recipes.

My boyfriend, Eric, is the gourmet cook in our relationship, but he’d always want me to make him a sandwich.

Each morning, he would ask, “Honey, how long you have been awake?”

“About 15 minutes,” I’d reply.

“You’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?”

To him, sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex. “Sandwiches are love,” he says. “Especially when you make them. You can’t get a sandwich with love from the deli.”

One lazy summer afternoon just over a year ago, I finally gave in. I assembled turkey and Swiss on toasted wheat bread. I spread Dijon mustard generously on both bread slices, and I made sure the lettuce was perfectly in line with the neatly stacked turkey slices.

Eric devoured the sandwich as if it were a five-star meal, diving in with large, eager bites. “Babes, this is delicious!” he exclaimed.

As he finished that last bite, he made an unexpected declaration of how much he loved me and that sandwich: “Honey, you’re 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”

I paused.

Was our happily ever after as simple as making him a few sandwiches?

Apparently she's 176 sandwiches in, with 124 left to go.

Sounds like a movie. No, seriously. That Julia/Julia movie (or whatever) was based on a blog.

If you want to be a screenwriter, your best Breakthrough move is to do a silly, fun stunt that would make for a good script. Then they'll pay for your life rights and you can bargain to get paid as a the first screenwriter, too.

I look forward to seeing the 300 Sandwiches movie. Well not really. But I wouldn't object to it.

I think @mflynny sent this but now it's disappeared from my Timeline so I'm not sure.

Oh, Of Course: Liberal Outrage Building! Of course.

Of course.

Of course.

I failed to predict this. And this was obvious. My bad. My bad. This was such a Gimme. But my brain didn't even go there. My brain just failed to consider the Outrage the left could mount over a Sandwich Courtship.

More at the link.

Well, Chris Hayes at the link. But I'm sure there will be more Outrageous Outrage.


L to R: Abused Stepford Sandwich Whore,
Vicious Patriarchal Woman-Beater

Frankly I don't even really think this is entirely real. I think they're looking for a Life Rights deal.

And I hope they get it. It's a cute, fun thing they've Created for us.



digg this
posted by Ace at 03:40 PM

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