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March 03, 2013

Chris Christie Won't Be At CPAC This Year...and That Doesn't Bother Me.

Jonah Goldberg is one of my faves over at NRO, and he posted an article on Friday concerning the organizers of CPAC declining to invite Chris Christie to this year's event. If you haven't read it yet, you should. It's pretty well written.

If I might have a second, I'd like to explain why I disagree with his ultimate point in the article: the fact that Chris Christie will more than likely be reelected in a Blue State, making him a contender for the 2016 nomination and a must-have for the CPAC organizers.

First, Mr. Goldberg is crossing the streams here. And you know what happens when you cross the streams: The alternate universe "Bearded Spock" gets frozen in carbonite and then set adrift in the Phantom Zone by Londo Mollari and the Shadows. But, seriously. The gathering is called C-PAC, not R-PAC. Chris Christie's success as a registered Republican does not qualify him automatically as a "certified" conservative. I hate the Conservative Purity Purges as much as the next person.... but in this case? I think there is a valid point to be made.

Chris Christie is not just soft on the Second Amendment. He is downright hostile. Anyone who shares this significant position with both Nanny Bloomberg and President Please Stay Healthy So That SlingBlade Biden Doesn't Have to Take the Oath of Office is no friend of conservatives. And that's not just because I own guns* and feel personally threatened by a government that wants to take them away. Think about the great conservative figures of the past. Reagan? Goldwater? Coolidge? Do you think any of these men ever gave the American public a verbal pat on the head and a hearty "You'll Shoot Your Eye Out With That Thing"?

Politicians who don't trust law-abiding citizens to own guns do NOT see them as equal members of a democratic republic. To put it bluntly, they see them as serfs. Or children who need to be protected from themselves. And that sort of attitude will NEVER get you the nomination from a Republican Party that wants to keep Conservatives inside the Big Tent. NEVER. The way he treats the voters of New Jersey is the way he will treat the voters of America. Take it to the bank. The Second Amendment is not just one amendment in the Bill of Rights: It's the Founders' message to the citizens of America - "We Trust You". And if you fold on that amendment? You'll fold on all the others. Guaranteed.

If you don't agree with me that his hostility to civilian gun ownership (unless you're a member of the New Jersey Governor's Protective Detail, of course) is a total dealbreaker, then let's look at his recent actions on Hurricane Sandy relief. The guy who won in a Deep Blue State partly because he was willing to take on the unions and bluntly tell them "There's No Money Left" railed against Conservatives who wanted to trim pork from the relief bill. Pork. Not aid for Northeastern residents who lost everything in the storm, but pure goddamn pork like handouts for Alaskan fisheries.

Now don't get me wrong. I like Alaskan fisheries. Some of my favorite seafood dishes come from Alaskan fisheries. But what do Alaskan fisheries have to do with Hurricane Sandy? Not a goddamn thing. Cut the pork, pass the bill, and take up the issue of Alaskan fisheries immediately after the President signs the hurricane relief bill.

I'm not totally against an occasional need for hypocricy in politics, but I do draw the line and blatant goddamn goalpost moving. If waste & fraud are unacceptable in the New Jersey budget process, they're just as unacceptable in the National budget process.

And that's not even touching on his bending over & lubing up for Obamacare. That's a stand-alone post on it's own. Hell, my governor (Terry Branstad of Iowa) is castigated as a RiNO by the Conservative Purists out there, and he's done more to oppose Obamacare than Christie.

Now his embrace of Obama after the hurricane? That might have mixed results in the Big Tent. Republicans won't like his sticking a knife in his party's nominee, but some conservatives who were lukewarm about Romney (and Lord knows why they would feel THAT way) might not hold that against him.

Now just because I think that Chris Christie is not a conservative and should not carry the banner for our side in 2016 doesn't mean that it won't happen. McCain & Romney both happened without my blessing, and I wouldn't be the least goddamn bit surprised if The Stupid Party ran a "Christie/Bloomberg" ticket next time. Maybe they could use "Making the Hard Choices: Because You're Too Goddamn Stupid" as their motto?

Is he doing well as the Republican Governor of New Jersey? Sure. I'm not a New Jersey Republican. If they want to be treated as children who can't be trusted with hollow point ammunition, who am I to tell them otherwise? Keep electing the man if that works for you. No skin off my back. Hell, maybe he'll get their budget mess cleaned up. That alone would make him a Republican Hero. But please don't tell me that he's the answer to all our prayers on the national level. Because I know the difference between rain and a stream of piss. Especially when it's splashing on my head.

* - Sorry, I should have said that I USED to own guns. All my firearms were destroyed in a tragic waffle iron malfunction that happened last Groundhog Day.

That's my story.

And I'm sticking to it.

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posted by Russ from Winterset at 07:34 PM

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