President Who Frequently Asserts the Powers of Dictator Excuses His Failures By Suddenly Declaring He's Not a Dictator | Main | Lawmaker to 17 Year Old Girl Who Overcame Her Shyness and Fear of Snakes: "If you're bashful I got a snake sitting under my desk here."
March 01, 2013

"Dave's Law" of New Yorker Cartoons

Iowahawk said something yesterday (which he's said before, but he reminded me of it yesterday) about The New Yorker's cartoons.

You know those drab, vague watercolor black-and-white cartoons skewered on Seinfeld for never making any sense?

Iowahawk proposed that every New Yorker cartoon -- every one -- could be made funnier by replacing its caption with:

"I'm going to kill myself."

Is it true? Well let's test this proposition under strict laboratory conditions. Let's do Science.

"I'm going to kill myself."

I'm going to mark that as a positive. But maybe we just got lucky the first time.

"I'm going to kill myself."

Pretty good! But two incidences does not define a trend.

"I'm going to kill myself."

Well, that works too.

For the last test in Phase One of our experiment, what about the fake New Yorker cartoon which was featured in Seinfeld? The one that made the point about these cartoons sucking and making no sense? The one with the pig at the complaints window that turned out to be stolen from a Ziggy?

"I'm going to kill myself."

Well that seals it then. Okay, Iowahawk was right: Every New Yorker cartoon is better with the caption "I think I'm going to kill myself."

But now we have to test against a Control Group. We have to make certain this rule is only applicable to The New Yorker. Perhaps it's an even more generally-applying rule.

What about Family Circus?

"I'm going to kill myself."

Interesting. Bloom County?

"I'm going to kill myself."

But what about Calvin and Hobbes?

"I'm going to kill myself."

Well this all seems very intriguing.

But one last test. Surely this trick could not possibly work with Peanuts.

Not Peanuts, surely.

" I'm going to kill myself."

Peanuts too.

Conclusions: Iowahawk was correct in his claim that the caption "I think I'm going to kill myself" makes all New Yorker cartoons funnier.

However, it seems the rule also applies to a large number of other cartoons. Iowahawk's rule might an even more powerful Principle of Science than he originally anticipated.

Corrected: Iowahawk points out his gag is "I'm going to kill myself," not "I think I'm going to kill myself," as I had it. I've changed all captions to conform to his actual joke.

digg this
posted by Ace at 01:47 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Berserker-Dragonheads Division: "Happy doggie in the top pic. ..."

Gref: "353 as to water storage - I started thinking about ..."

Infidel : "the sewer replacement saga continues. Came home i ..."

Kindltot: "25% of disposable income, that is. ..."

Kindltot: "[i] The problem with no withholding is few people ..."

Squanto: "Greetings Sir or Madam, Please note the names Sq ..."

Infidel : "Storing pasta in the jars is an option. Posted by ..."

[/i][/b]Clyde Shelton: "[i]Comrade, you know ve do zis only for your own g ..."

irright: "Did the hamsters die? ..."

Vulcan Legal Aid Society: "Squonk would be a great nic Posted by: Doof at ..."

Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Lie back and think of the sweet graft! ~ [/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]Posted by: Clyde Shelton at December 08, 2021 0 ..."

Kindltot: "[i]Part of me just hates tossing perfectly good gl ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64