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March 01, 2013

Also Not Funny: Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz is not funny.

In fact, Andy Borowitz is legendarily unfunny. Andy Borowitz is so unfunny that, despite being a liberal who makes all the right liberal jokes about all the right conservative targets, a guy at Salon named Alex Pareene who is himself unfunny still called Andy Borowitz out for not being funny:

Andy Borowitz makes dad jokes for self-satisfied liberals. If you think Sarah Palin is stupid and Mitt Romney is rich, Andy Borowitz has some jokes that will decidedly not challenge a single one of your prior assumptions!

...

This material is designed to elicit a smirk of recognition and agreement from your average polite NPR listener.

...

Here’s the patented Andy Borowitz Joke-Generation Formula: Step 1: Take the single most obvious and most commonly remarked-upon trait of a public figure. Step 2: Lightly tweak figure for said trait. Take, for example, this vintage Borowitz Report laffer from 2004: “Flip-flopping may have injured Kerry’s shoulder.” Haha, get it? Oh, sometimes there is a Step 3: Mash up the news figure story with a popular culture reference, for added hilarity. Like, what if Saddam Hussein had a brother named Jermaine who defended him on “The Larry King Show”??

Andy Levy horrified people yesterday when he Tweeted, without warning, an Andy Borowitz "humor" piece from the New Yorker, just because he's a dirty son of a bitch and wants you to hate your life as much as he hates his own.

The piece is about the Pope. It's irreverent, but I wouldn't say it's cruel to the Pope. But what is is offensive, because it is gratuitously, nearly pornographically unfunny.

Oakland Rapper Pope Emeritus Threatens Lawsuit

Posted by Andy Borowitz

OAKLAND (The Borowitz Report)—

The Vatican’s plan to call the retiring pontiff Benedict XVI “Pope Emeritus” hit a snag today, in the form of a threatened lawsuit by an Oakland-based rapper who has been recording under that name since 2006.

“I don’t care who he is, I ain’t let nobody mess with my brand,” said Mr. Emeritus, who prior to 2006 recorded under the name Notorious P.O.P.E.

While the Vatican said it was unaware that Mr. Emeritus had already claimed the name seven years ago, the Oakland rapper scoffed at that idea: “They should have done what I did before I picked it out: Google it.”

Furious at what he is calling a clear case of trademark infringement, Mr. Emeritus said that he has no intention of stepping aside for the former pontiff: “He’s the one who should step aside. Call himself P. Biddy or something. This is wack, yo.”

Well, I mean, you can imagine the possibilities that flow from that kernel of a comedic premise. Here's the Pope saying "This is wack, yo." I mean, that's funny, because the Pope don't talk like that at all! In fact he mostly speaks in German and Latin.

So it's a mischievous juxtaposition of two incongruous things! And that's funny!!!

Or not. Note by the way how much he plasters his name and "The Borowitz Report" all over this. He wouldn't want anyone stealing his funny jokes.

Iowahawk started something called "BorowitzComedySkool," tweeting Borowitz-like comedy bits, and I joined, as did others. I'll just quote mine and direct you to Twitchy for the rest.

I can't just send you to Twitchy because they censored me, the Monsters.

Though I can understand why. You'll understand their reasoning.


Top Rejected Borowitz Report "Funny" Headlines

Nobody Puts Baby In a Corner, Says John Boehner, Who's a Big Fat Orange Baby

David Schwimmer Now Dating Phoebe Cates; Celebrity Couple Tagged "Schwimph"

John Boehner Something Something Something The Voice

Sequester Threatens Closure of Animal Shelters Something Something Baja Boys

Rectum? Well I Hardly Even Eric Cantor

Pity Laughs Make Me Hard

Dennis Rodman and Kim Jon-Un Are a Crazier Odd Couple Than James Mason and Chunk from Goonies

In Oscar Upset, Anne Hathaway Wins Best Vagina

Now, at this point I ran out of ideas, but I remembered that Iowahawk business of every New Yorker cartoon being funnier with suicide. So, with that in my head, and needing some a new style of joke, I started pushing things into The Bad Places.

Obama Locks Republican Leaders In Room Just Like Teenagers In The Breakfast Club Oh Sweet Jesus Please Take Me Home Now

Debt Looms Like Shark We're Going To Need a Bigger Boat Sweet Spectre of Radiant Death Let Me Enter Thy Kingdom

Republican Leaders Lola Falana Una Paloma Blanca A Real Man Would Have Pulled the Trigger By Now

1998 Political Reference 2002 Cultural Reference The Shining Sharp Razor Romances My Throat

If you take the first letter of my last 45 Headlines it tells you what pills I took and how many... please don't stop me... I want to go to the Soft Place Where Nothing Hurts....

J-Lo Obama Tea Party Dr. Ray Stanz The Greatest Comedy Hero of All Time Is Freddie Prinz Because He Manned Up and Just Took the Hit

Sequester Jack Kervorkian Madonna Ice Cream My Uncle Told Me It Was a Roll of Quarters In His Lap But It Sure Felt Warm

Marco Rubio Caught In Affair with Perrier I Just Wanted My Cousin Samuel To Teach Me How To Kiss But He Made It Dark

I changed my last name because it sounded "Too Republican"... my name used to be Andy Rape

More at Twitchy.

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posted by Ace at 04:48 PM

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