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February 01, 2013

Bad, Shocking News: Scarborough Just Doesn't Like These Damn Republican Clowns

Joe Scarborough continues his self-flattery about "raising the discourse" (while simultaneously running a show that's heavy on insults and low attacks) mourning the fact that Republicans weren't nice to Hagel and didn't ask him questions in the "right" way, a respectful way.

No, I'm not exaggerating. His problem is that they weren't sufficiently nice.

The gap between the man you'd like to be and the man you actually are can be made up, in a pinch, with pious declarations and self-flatteries. It helps, however, to have a dumb parrot-ginch sitting next to you who can chirp & coo one word babytalk non-sentences ("oh," "yeah," "mmmm") in between the gaps in your own words.

That really adds a lot. Imagine if you had a cooing parrotginch who would fill in every quarter-second pause in your speech with a soothing, motherly babytalk "mmm" or "yeaahhh" or "oohhh." You've got yourself an interstitial Amen Chorus right there.

From Newsbusters. Video below.

Update: White House blames Chuck Hagel's shambolic performance... on Republican hecklers.

Demand: I will never do another podcast ever again, except on this condition:

That the audioguy for the show records a bunch of Mika Brezinsy's babytalk cooings and chirplings and puts them on a soundboard. Then, when I talk, the engineer must play those soundcues in the microgaps in my speech.

I want nothing but a steady chirping of affirmative "mmm's" and "ohhhh's" and "right's." For every damn thing I say. When I talk about taking a poop, I want Mika right there, praising me with an "oooh" warble.

I will not do a podcast until I am guaranteed these terms.

These are my demands. My balls are in your court.

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posted by Ace at 01:06 PM

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