Oh Dear: Ann Romney To Guest Host Good Morning America | Main | Oh, My: Next (Taiwanese) Animation Makes It Official; Depicts Romney Pummelling Dunce-Capped Obama
The Onion, Jon Stewart Pounce on the Pigpile
October 04, 2012

Norah O'Donnell Bewildered That Obama Didn't Use His "Greatest Hits," Which He Uses On The Campaign Trail To Rally Hardcore Liberals, In National Debate

Let me try to dispel some mystery from your muddled little head, dummy:

You want to know why Obama didn't push "contraceptive rights," dummy?

Because Romney supports the right to contraceptives, and if Obama mentions it, Romney will inform the public of that, and then the secret will be out.

See, Obama's using the strawman that Romney opposes the right to buy contraception, but if he actually mentions that strawman around Romney, Romney will set it afire himself.

Do you dummies get any information from a source other than the Obama Campaign?

She actually seems to believe Obama's implication -- that when Obama runs ads stating he supports access to contraceptives, he's suggesting that Romney does not.

Well, with Romney right there, he gets to demolish that implication, Dummy.

Further, "access to contraceptives" is what we call a "euphemism," Dummy, designed to hide the difficult issues embedded within. For example, when Obama speaks of "access to contraceptives," he is alluding to -- without directly mentioning -- that he's forcing the Catholic Church to purchase contraceptives for employees, against its teachings.

Do you get that, Dummy? Do you understand why Obama might not want to get into that troublesome area?

See, I'll credit Obama with this much: When he resorts to a convenient euphemism, meant to hide politically-troublesome issues from the public, at least he understands that's what he's doing.

Norah O'Donnell, the dummy, the Kool-Aid drinker, does not understand this. She is honestly baffled why Obama doesn't just run out and proclaim his support for "access to contraceptives." She thinks Romney is anti-birth-control, and she's not aware that an important block of swing voters doesn't like the idea of the right of religious conscience being stripped from their church.

Once again, I note: These are the Dummies who presume to inform The Common Man.

digg this
posted by Ace at 03:28 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
All Hail Eris, Literate Savage: "Dear future anthropologists: I'm so sorry. We had ..."

bluebell: "This formula is fairly long-lasting and not drying ..."

washrivergal: " That's the way I am. I've been on the roof of a ..."

hogmartin: "[i]My late kitty Claws would do that head-grooming ..."

Zombie Cat: "363 ok now there is gnawing please stop you weirdo ..."

All Hail Eris, Literate Savage: "I'll try it - it sounds pretty. So it doesn't make ..."

bluebell: "One of each lip! Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevar ..."

Pound Me Too: "Brush your cat's tongue with Crest. ..."

rickl: "[i]322 BUT, put him on a flat roof outside, just ..."

hogmartin: "[i]A gash back there that you are not aware of? P ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "ok now there is gnawing please stop you weirdo cat ..."

Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo: " TV is always on. Helps me think, or not think. ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64