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The Onion, Jon Stewart Pounce on the Pigpile
October 04, 2012

Norah O'Donnell Bewildered That Obama Didn't Use His "Greatest Hits," Which He Uses On The Campaign Trail To Rally Hardcore Liberals, In National Debate

Let me try to dispel some mystery from your muddled little head, dummy:

You want to know why Obama didn't push "contraceptive rights," dummy?

Because Romney supports the right to contraceptives, and if Obama mentions it, Romney will inform the public of that, and then the secret will be out.

See, Obama's using the strawman that Romney opposes the right to buy contraception, but if he actually mentions that strawman around Romney, Romney will set it afire himself.

Do you dummies get any information from a source other than the Obama Campaign?

She actually seems to believe Obama's implication -- that when Obama runs ads stating he supports access to contraceptives, he's suggesting that Romney does not.

Well, with Romney right there, he gets to demolish that implication, Dummy.

Further, "access to contraceptives" is what we call a "euphemism," Dummy, designed to hide the difficult issues embedded within. For example, when Obama speaks of "access to contraceptives," he is alluding to -- without directly mentioning -- that he's forcing the Catholic Church to purchase contraceptives for employees, against its teachings.

Do you get that, Dummy? Do you understand why Obama might not want to get into that troublesome area?

See, I'll credit Obama with this much: When he resorts to a convenient euphemism, meant to hide politically-troublesome issues from the public, at least he understands that's what he's doing.

Norah O'Donnell, the dummy, the Kool-Aid drinker, does not understand this. She is honestly baffled why Obama doesn't just run out and proclaim his support for "access to contraceptives." She thinks Romney is anti-birth-control, and she's not aware that an important block of swing voters doesn't like the idea of the right of religious conscience being stripped from their church.

Once again, I note: These are the Dummies who presume to inform The Common Man.


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posted by Ace at 03:28 PM

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