Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Moron Meet-Ups
MI/Midwest Meet-up:

It has a website!

SoCal Meet-up: 8/25/2018 In Irvine CA
Contact Jim

NY/NJ MoMe: 8/23/2018, 6pm-9pm in Hoboken
Contact CBD

Central NJ MoMe: 10/13/2018: Hillsborough-Somerset County
Contact fenelonspoke

SW Ohio MoMe: 10/20/2018, 7-10pm in Dayton OH
Contact ibguy

Texas MoMe: 10/20/18
Contact Ben Had
From Indian Princess to Heroic Industrialess: Elizabeth Warren Declares That Some People Consider Her To Be The Savior of Capitalism | Main | Double Dip By Election Day?
July 30, 2012

So I Read The First Chapter or Whatever of Fifty Shades of Gray

I couldn't resist. You can get a sample for free off Kindle. I didn't make it all the way through.

Anyone else try this? I was thinking of reviewing it but I completely forgot what the hell I read about 20 minutes after I read it.

It was uh... seriously amateurish, which is weird, because the woman works in television, so you'd think she'd at least have a clue.

Here's something weird. She lives in London. I mean, for real. Now, London is one of the world's capitals. It's an intriguing city. People would consider buying this book just for its setting. And, living in London, she'd be an natural expert in the city -- or at least it would be easy for her to do some scouting and reading and make herself an expert. If she wants to know, say, precisely what the interior of the upper rooms of the Hippodrome look like (that's London, right?), all she has to do is take a 90 minute trip to scout it. 90 minutes, there and back, plus an hour's worth of notes.

Plus, London works really well for the concept of a sexually bent, controlling man and innocent virginal girl. London has all that Dracula atmosphere, it's a world economic capital of a country that once ruled the seas, and frankly I think all English men are kind of sexually twisted anyhow. (I blame Jeremy Irons for this prejudice. Not the roles he plays in movies -- he once tried to play footsie with me at a gala.)

And even for the innocent angle-- even though all London women are clearly whores (I've seen clips of Ladettes to Ladies), I'm sure there are still middle-class suburbs a few miles out where you can find women who haven't seen more cock than a Perdue distribution center.

So, you get it. It would be both very easy and commercially advantageous for her to set it in London.

Instead, she sets it in Seattle, a city she clearly has no concept of (she spends a paragraph describing the sweeping view from Dr. Moneycock's office, but never says what can be seen in this view, because, I think, she's never seen the city and has no idea if, say, you should be able to see the ocean or mountains from it).

The only reason she sets it in Seattle, I guess, is because that's where it was set when it was a Twilight slash-fic, and she's lazy. And oh god, is she a terribly lazy writer. But she's also dumb, because it should have been easy to switch to London, rather than describe western Washington state so vaguely as a bit of highway, a city, some more highway, and then a beach.

And maybe she kept Seattle to really push the idea that this is really about Bella and Edward (and also Jacob, who I'm told makes an appearance as a budding rapist later).

I could talk about how awful a writer she is, but I won't. I'll just mention that simple-to-fix thing.

digg this
posted by Ace at 02:44 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Kindltot: "[i]I was watching the robins in my yard hunting fo ..."

Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter: "*Lightbulb*I'm doing laundry now and just had a br ..."

Locarno: "Responding to those asking about the size of anima ..."

Deplorable Jay Guevara, now with an added spark of divinity [/i][/s][/b]: "[i]Funny you should use the term "social construct ..."

Puddin Head: "Cereal question - in Spainish or Latin is the word ..."

Democrats: " Do you know people in the USA are now being char ..."

Willowed JAS: "Having fun reading the volcanoes killed the dinasa ..."

Braenyard: "God said "let there be.." and BANG, there it was. ..."

Fritz: ">>>So they go meep, meep!, too?<<&l ..."

Optimizer: "161 If gender is just a social construct why do pe ..."

Ptomaine Poisoning: "[i]As far as Round Up goes, why don't we feed a bu ..."

Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter: "Wasn't there a salad dressing called Pfeiffer? ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64