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June 26, 2012

You Know Who's Never "Had It All"? Men

Good point from Karol Markowitcz, as she considers yet another feminist bleat about whether women "can have it all" -- career, stable marriage, primary caregiver to children.

Men, she notes, have never had to struggle with these "choices" at all, because men never had the choice in the first place.

A woman may look for fulfillment in a career, but the man has to focus on taking financial care of his family — whether or not the work is fulfilling. (And, for the record, for most people work is work.)


Then, too, most of the women even bothering to debate this question lead privileged lives already. When Slaughter stepped off her career ladder, she downgraded to merely being a tenured professor at Princeton. Would that we all had that “choice.”

The whole phenomenon of women as “equals in the workplace” is still fairly new, so perhaps it’s no wonder that so many of us are setting ourselves up for failure by chasing an impossible “all.” For men, though, the “all” is so unlikely and out of reach that they settle for success, professional and personal, where they find it.

If feminism is still about equality between the sexes, women should look to men to see what successful, guilt-free “balance” looks like. Hint: The formulais a lot less “have it all” and a lot more “suck it up.”

It's a silly thing. Life is hard and "having it all" is almost impossible -- by choosing one thing, you choose against others. Fifty years of this, and some still just don't seem to understand.

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posted by Ace at 01:50 PM

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