Sponsored Content




Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

NoVaMoMe 2024: 06/08/2024
Arlington, VA
Details to follow


Texas MoMe 2024: 10/18/2024-10/19/2024 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Top Headline Comments 4-19-12 | Main | Does The War On Dogs Actually Move Votes? »
April 19, 2012

Joe Eszterhas Releases Audio of Mel Gibson Rant

The good news for Mel Gibson is that there's nothing antisemitic on it.

The bad news is that he seems like a very angry, very out-of-control guy.

Previously I ignored this because Joe Eszterhas has never struck me as a credible or ethical person, and the allegations he laid on Mel Gibson seemed motivated by a business dispute. Gibson had hired him to write a script for The Maccabees, and now Eszterhas wants the script back (but I didn't see any offer to pay Gibson back the money he'd laid out for the script).

Everything Eszterhas says may be true. And yet, given his bad intent here (pressure Gibson into giving this script up), I wouldn't want to put money on his claims.

But there definitely is tape of Gibson ranting. In an out-of-control way. Content warning for language.

Here's a bunch of things Eszterhas claims Gibson said, but there's no tape of it. (At least none that I know of.)

I always thought that South Park episode portraying Gibson as a lunatic was a cheap shot and a nasty invention on the part of Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I don't think that anymore.

But as to Eszterhas -- here's why I don't trust him. He has always been a terrible, terrible hack, filling his dumb scripts with the most obvious sort of Exploitation Film pandering imaginable. I suppose he must do some things right, as he sold a lot of (B-movie exploitation) scripts, but not many things right.

Plus, he's sort of been out of work for a while. He hasn't worked much -- at least only a pair of produced screenplays -- since people caught on in 1997 that he wasn't very good at all. Like, after the Showgirls debacle. He wrote a script containing these (Content Warning) atrocious lines?

So, to give Gibson every benefit of the doubt: This guy could be desperate and be very angry that his would-be comeback is now scuttled by the rejection of this script.

Crap Script? I tend to believe Gibson's stated reasons for rejecting the script:

"Both Warner Brothers and I were extraordinarily disappointed with the draft. In 25 years of script development I have never seen a more substandard first draft or a more significant waste of time. The decision not to proceed with you was based on the quality of your script, not on any other factor."

Honestly, I haven no idea why he'd think Joe Eszterhas -- Basic Instinct, Showgirls, Flashdance -- could credibly write a story of 2nd century Jewish revolutionaries.

This guy writes about the script, and notes it's very "bloody," but I don't see him saying it's any good. He seems to not say anything about the quality of it, as if he's protecting his source (Eszterhas, who talks a lot to The Wrap).

Just because it's "bloody" doesn't mean it's any good, of course, and it doesn't mean Gibson would think it's good. Braveheart was bloody-- but also a good script. He doesn't shoot shit just because it has decapitations in it.

This passage from the script suggests it's pure hackery.

“We will be free! The day will come when we’ll be free! We will be free to pray to our God! We will be free to educate our children! We will never have to bend our knee to anyone but our Lord! The day will come when we’ll be strong and mighty, strong enough to defeat anyone - anyone! - who wants to wipe us off the face of the earth. (He puts his clenched fist up into the air and bows his head.)”

Oh dear. This is, uh, on-the-nose, as they say. It's what you want to communicate, true, but your characters shouldn't say the things you've decided the scene is meant to communicate. They shouldn't just read aloud the Moral of the Tale.

These sorts of things are hard to write but dude, you have to do better than this.

Braveheart had some tough things to write. But the writer came up with good ways to say the embarrassing sloganistic stuff.

William: Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace.

Short soldier: William Wallace is 7 feet tall.

William: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his ass. I am William Wallace, and I see before me an army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What would you do without freedom? Will you fight?

Tall soldier: Fight against that? No, we will run, and we will live.

William: Ay, fight and you may die, run and you'll live. At least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom.

See, that's not the Very First Thing That Pops Into Your Head, as Eszterhas' "freedom to educate our children" thing is, now is it? "And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that..." is an unexpected way and interesting way to preface the Tough Sledding part about freedom.

Imagine if Wallace just yelled "We shall fight for our freedom! Freedom! Yah, freedom! Whoo-Hoo! We shall have freedom, and we shall lay the groundwork for the moderal social welfare state!"

Yeah, see? Not quite as good.


I guess it's a first draft, so you can chalk that up as "placeholder" dialogue, stuff you write just to get the story beats down, knowing that there's no way in hell that crap will survive to the actual filming script.

Still. Not a good sign. A first draft is not supposed to be just pure crap. You're supposed to have figured out how to handle the bulk of the problems in the script, whether about pacing or structure or dialogue or exposition.

You can't just take the position "We'll figure it all out in the second, third and fourth drafts." Then, um, just skip directly to those drafts. No one profits from a waste of time script in which there are no problems solved and no insights or cool parts.


digg this
posted by Ace at 10:44 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
[/i][/b]andycanuck (2yu8s)[/s][/u]: "750-pound alligator seized from home near Buffalo, ..."

Ben Had: "Only 30 more years of these moronic statements ft ..."

2008 is calling: "Mahalia Jackson>>>>>>>>>>>Affimative Action Jackso ..."

BillyD: "[i]158 Mind you, a Moron claimed the car would sti ..."

Diogenes: "DEI in action, and that's a good thing! Posted by ..."

Piper: "Have we discussed KBJ and her gripe the 1sr amendm ..."

Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - [b]again[/b]! ~ [/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]257 Watching another Boeing United Airlines iss ..."

Loose Emergency Door Plug: "Return to Newark? I'd rather ditch. Posted by: D ..."

J. Random UA Flight: "[i]Return to Newark? I'd rather ditch. Posted by ..."

Diogenes: "Watching another Boeing United Airlines issue in r ..."

Truthbomb : "Watching another Boeing United Airlines issue in r ..."

Ciampino - on time: "About 43 minutes [b]SpaceX - Falcon 9 - Starlin ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64