Sponsored Content
« New "Doctor Who" Companion Chosen, An Unattractive Spinster With Small Bosoms | Main | Saturday Morning Open Thread »
March 23, 2012

Friday Night ONT [Ben]

Whitney Houston died as a result of cocaine use and always being there for you, but mainly from cocaine use.

Five Reasons The Walking Dead Has To Get Better

I agree with most of this piece, however I don't think the writers have painted themselves into a corner as the author of this article suggests. The writers can always do things like add new "red shirts"(named after the throwaway characters from Star Trek) or have Carl wander off.

My biggest problem with the show, yes I'm still watching it despite my complaints, is the characters inability to accept that they are living in a post-apocalyptic world. Morality changes when the world is overrun by zombies. The only character willing to accept that was Shane and he's was killed by Rick in the season finale.

On the upside, the writers finally killed off Dale.

Seen here, Lisa Simpson

What Happens When A 35-Year Old Man Retakes the SAT?
(h/t Gabe)

It turns out he did fairly well. I don't think I would be so lucky. I've forgotten how to do a lot of the graph related math.

Whenever I finished a verbal section early, I got to a big warning that said: "STOP. If you finish before the time is called, you may check your work in this section only. Do not turn to any other section in the test." Whatever you say, MEIN FÜHRER. Since I was trying to simulate the experience of taking the test for real, I forced myself to stay in my seat for the remaining time allotted. I never went back to check my answers, because f**k that. I never went back to check when I was a student, and I wasn't gonna do it now. Instead, I did the same thing I did back when I had free test time as a kid: I stared out the window and thought about sex. Those small moments you get during the testing process—those times when you've finished early and you have a little oasis in which to set your mind free—that's all that matters, really.
Because the SAT is less a test of your brainpower than it is a test of your endurance. If you're taking it cold, and you haven't been inside a classroom for 14 years, you aren't physically prepared for it. Your back starts to kill after 30 minutes. Your brain can't handle being assaulted with so many questions in such a small time frame. You aren't properly conditioned for it. I certainly wasn't. If I had taken this test in a proper testing facility, I would have pulled an Emmett Fitz-Hume and hidden all the answers inside my eyepatch. OH THE PRESSURE!!!

1/3 Scale Tie-Fighter For Sale on Craigslist

It will only set you back 150 bucks.

Denver Man Fulfills His Wish of Dying Before Peyton Manning Takes a Snap with the Broncos

James H. "Jim" Driver, 78, of Eagle, Colo., formerly of Columbia, passed away Monday, March 19, 2012, at South Hampton Place in Columbia after a brief illness. An avid Broncos fan, he abhorred Manning and evidently wanted out before a deal was done.

The Explorers Club Held Their 108th Annual Exotic Meats Dinner

I can't confirm rumors that Komodo Dragons were also on the menu. (Free AoSHQ Subscription if you get that reference)

My Favorite Conan O'Brien Skit: Conan Hates My Homeland.

NBC has scrubbed all the video of this re-occurring bit. Here are a few of my favorites. (You can read the rest at the above link)

Belarus Clay, sand, and chalk: Your richest natural resources are what a toddler throws up after a big day at preschool
Burundi All that coffee in a country with no reason to wake up.
China If you're gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason.
Colombia You'll come for the enticing beauty of the Caribbean Sea. You'll stay because you've been kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a Dodge Dart.
France Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Gauguin, Manet: You're number one when it comes to great minds that died of syphillis.
Indonesia This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of your first democratic election, in which apparently, everyone voted to never have another democratic election.
Kuwait We saved your ass from Saddam. Now make with the oil, bitch
Romania Come see our museum of the Middle Ages. We call it "Romania."
Spain Five hundred years ago, you were a global superpower, and now you're not. Hmm, that's strange. Oh well, time for another four-hour nap!

Bonus ONT Content!

From RDBrewer.

This one from Andy.

A Missing Japanese Fishing Boat Turns Up On The Cost of Canada

Japanese fishing boat that washed away last March following earthquake and tsunami has been located off the coast of British Columbia.

The office of Senator Maria Cantwell (D, WA) reports to KING 5 News the 150-foot vessel was located drifting about 120 nautical miles off the Queen Charlotte Islands. The boat was found floating right-side-up.

Don't forget our own Wyatt Earp co-wrote a book. You can order it here. Please be sure to leave a review at Amazon if you read it.

[Winner] JewishOdysseus knew the komodo reference. Check his blog out here.

Follow me on twitter.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by Empire of Jeff's Childhood:

digg this
posted by Open Blogger at 10:01 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
TheJamesMadison, on just the weirdest trip with John Boorman: "389 Yeah, I do. Those are perfectly good reasons a ..."

Have you figured out that the gay flag is a p3d0 flag? : "They are looting the Rural King! - I didn't ..."

REDACTED: "word on the street is Palin was set up by Capn Bil ..."

18-1: "[i]To be fair people at DU are on average 20 years ..."

Joe Mannix (Not a cop!): "Many parallels and similarities between the reacti ..."

Huck Follywood: "JJS is absolutely right to say black on black crim ..."

Jaimo: "Ciampino, are any of these kitties getting any soc ..."

Montec: "Yeah I guess DU May skew older. The yuutes are on ..."

davidt: "I never understood the visceral, knee-jerk, instin ..."

Ciampino - Maybe not yet the end of The King's English lesson for today: "Wonderful language is English. And the disappoi ..."

TheJamesMadison, on just the weirdest trip with John Boorman: "386 Kamala got what 2% in the 2020 primaries? But ..."

Bulgaroctonus : "Hey, Tonypete. ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64