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March 23, 2012

Friday Night ONT [Ben]

Whitney Houston died as a result of cocaine use and always being there for you, but mainly from cocaine use.



Five Reasons The Walking Dead Has To Get Better

I agree with most of this piece, however I don't think the writers have painted themselves into a corner as the author of this article suggests. The writers can always do things like add new "red shirts"(named after the throwaway characters from Star Trek) or have Carl wander off.

My biggest problem with the show, yes I'm still watching it despite my complaints, is the characters inability to accept that they are living in a post-apocalyptic world. Morality changes when the world is overrun by zombies. The only character willing to accept that was Shane and he's was killed by Rick in the season finale.

On the upside, the writers finally killed off Dale.



Seen here, Lisa Simpson


What Happens When A 35-Year Old Man Retakes the SAT?
(h/t Gabe)

It turns out he did fairly well. I don't think I would be so lucky. I've forgotten how to do a lot of the graph related math.

Whenever I finished a verbal section early, I got to a big warning that said: "STOP. If you finish before the time is called, you may check your work in this section only. Do not turn to any other section in the test." Whatever you say, MEIN FÜHRER. Since I was trying to simulate the experience of taking the test for real, I forced myself to stay in my seat for the remaining time allotted. I never went back to check my answers, because f**k that. I never went back to check when I was a student, and I wasn't gonna do it now. Instead, I did the same thing I did back when I had free test time as a kid: I stared out the window and thought about sex. Those small moments you get during the testing process—those times when you've finished early and you have a little oasis in which to set your mind free—that's all that matters, really.
Because the SAT is less a test of your brainpower than it is a test of your endurance. If you're taking it cold, and you haven't been inside a classroom for 14 years, you aren't physically prepared for it. Your back starts to kill after 30 minutes. Your brain can't handle being assaulted with so many questions in such a small time frame. You aren't properly conditioned for it. I certainly wasn't. If I had taken this test in a proper testing facility, I would have pulled an Emmett Fitz-Hume and hidden all the answers inside my eyepatch. OH THE PRESSURE!!!

1/3 Scale Tie-Fighter For Sale on Craigslist

It will only set you back 150 bucks.



Denver Man Fulfills His Wish of Dying Before Peyton Manning Takes a Snap with the Broncos

James H. "Jim" Driver, 78, of Eagle, Colo., formerly of Columbia, passed away Monday, March 19, 2012, at South Hampton Place in Columbia after a brief illness. An avid Broncos fan, he abhorred Manning and evidently wanted out before a deal was done.


The Explorers Club Held Their 108th Annual Exotic Meats Dinner


I can't confirm rumors that Komodo Dragons were also on the menu. (Free AoSHQ Subscription if you get that reference)

My Favorite Conan O'Brien Skit: Conan Hates My Homeland.

NBC has scrubbed all the video of this re-occurring bit. Here are a few of my favorites. (You can read the rest at the above link)

Belarus Clay, sand, and chalk: Your richest natural resources are what a toddler throws up after a big day at preschool
Burundi All that coffee in a country with no reason to wake up.
China If you're gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason.
Colombia You'll come for the enticing beauty of the Caribbean Sea. You'll stay because you've been kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a Dodge Dart.
France Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Gauguin, Manet: You're number one when it comes to great minds that died of syphillis.
Indonesia This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of your first democratic election, in which apparently, everyone voted to never have another democratic election.
Kuwait We saved your ass from Saddam. Now make with the oil, bitch
Romania Come see our museum of the Middle Ages. We call it "Romania."
Spain Five hundred years ago, you were a global superpower, and now you're not. Hmm, that's strange. Oh well, time for another four-hour nap!


Bonus ONT Content!


From RDBrewer.

This one from Andy.

A Missing Japanese Fishing Boat Turns Up On The Cost of Canada

Japanese fishing boat that washed away last March following earthquake and tsunami has been located off the coast of British Columbia.

The office of Senator Maria Cantwell (D, WA) reports to KING 5 News the 150-foot vessel was located drifting about 120 nautical miles off the Queen Charlotte Islands. The boat was found floating right-side-up.


Don't forget our own Wyatt Earp co-wrote a book. You can order it here. Please be sure to leave a review at Amazon if you read it.

[Winner] JewishOdysseus knew the komodo reference. Check his blog out here.

Follow me on twitter.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by Empire of Jeff's Childhood:



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