Moron Movie Review: Act of Valor | Main | Afghanistan Violence Sparked By Poor Rubbish Disposal Procedures Continues Apace
February 26, 2012

Open Thread

Anybody got any good crackpot theories?

I was working on a good one about intelligent alien life and evolution, but I need charts and graphs. Trying to explain it without visual aids is taking too long. So, how about half-baked crackpottery?

First, precognition. Where would you look for that? Well, why muddy the waters by talking to people when you can look at animals? Think of natural selection. Mosquitoes and flies, for example, have been swatted at for millions of years. Wouldn't it follow that the best and easiest to find examples of precognition in the animal kingdom would lie with an insect whose life depends upon getting away at just the right moment? All those years of selective pressure have created the fly and the mosquito... who fly away just before you swat at them. Ever notice that? Right at the instant you decide to take one down, bam. They leave. Typically. That's because they can see into the future.

It might also be that they can read your mind. So you'd have to test whether it's ESP or precognition. But I doubt it's the latter, because that would require a level of intelligence they can't have.

Oh, even more crackpot?

How about aphrodisiacs? From what we know about natural selection, it stands to reason that the most potent aphrodisiac must lie in some property of STD's. Right? Over millennia, one or more STD's must have developed the ability to crank out some protein or chemical that causes people to feel hawny. There has to be something there that would put pills like Viagra and Cialis out of business, something that would work for women too. Has anyone heard of such research?

Follow me on Twitter.

digg this
posted by rdbrewer at 02:44 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
x: "I couldn't care less. I could care less. Same di ..."

random [s]lurker[/s] commenter: "hmmm, bets on whether the Awans have the texts? ..."

DaveA[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]I'm choosing to interpret this as a compliment. ..."

Jewells45: "Or both nostrils. Eh.. I was thinking more alon ..."

SilverBellsCockleShellsEtc: ""Vic, with all respect, there are other punishment ..."

Weasel: " 458 I've actually seen several comments across t ..."

Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine: "454. 'Please forgive. All subjects who did not van ..."

Dack Thrombosis: "I've actually seen several comments across the web ..."

FBI Nerds: "Maybe the FBI has been hiring IT people from the s ..."

Mr. Peebles: "You'd think all this would warrant a Special Prose ..."

Acme Trucking Enterprises, White Truck Division [/i]: "[i]I tow the line on properly using expressions... ..."

Under Fire: "We should outsource our federal investigative arm ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64