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January 01, 2012

Overnight Open Thread - Picking Up The Pieces Edition

Welcome to 2012 all.

We're still cleaning up in here. So far the ONT Lost & Found box has 3 brassieres, 5 pairs of underwear, a saddle and one artificial limb - identify them and they're yours. Oh and the good lamp got broken so expect an assessment on top of the ONT dues.

tumblr_lx3ilr1wkE1qglum9o1_500.jpg


EEOC: Employers Who Reject Ignorant Job Applicants Violating Americans With Disabilities Act
The dumb and uneducated are now a protected class:

Employers are facing more uncertainty in the wake of a letter from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission warning them that requiring a high school diploma from a job applicant might violate the Americans with Disabilities Act.
So good news for all you dullards who need to have the ONT read to you.
dumb-and-dumber.jpg

How To Escape Any Traffic Stop Without A Ticket
Okay this probably only works in certain western states, but when you read stories like this you realize that it's not far from the truth.

1. When the police officer asks for your driver's license and registration, state: "No habla ingles."
2. As the police officer figures out how to react, recite the following sentence (preferably using a exaggerated accent): "I am an illegal alien to the United States."
traffic-stop.png

5 Reasons Your New Year's Resolution Is Going to Fail
Realistically most people (and that includes you) will fail at their New Year's resolutions within a few weeks. Why? Well one reason is that generally people don't differentiate between goals and resolutions and don't have measurable attainable milestones along the way. And then you have the fact that most people haven't thought through what's entailed with a serious resolution:

Same thing with the resolution to eat healthier. It's great that you're not going to stop at the Taco Bell drivethru any more. But did you also plan for the one to two hours a night now spent cooking a meal from healthy, fresh ingredients? Why the hell do you think you started eating fast food in the first place? Shit, why the hell do you think drivethrus were invented?
Me - I'm with Adam Carolla on not really believing in New Years resolutions. If something really is important to me, then I just start working towards it when I decide it's worthwhile. I guess Jan 1st is as good as any other day to do that.
cover-snap-new-yearsarticle.jpg

The Unmanned K-MAX Helicopter Makes Its First Combat Flight

The unmanned Kaman K-MAX helicopter has made its first combat resupply mission in Afghanistan. Designed to reduce the reliance on truck convoys that are often targeted by IED (improvised explosive device) strikes when resupplying front-line troops in remote areas and manned aircraft that place their crews in danger.

...Following the success of the cargo-less test flights, the first combat resupply mission using a robot helicopter was carried out on December 17, which saw the aircraft haul a sling-load of cargo to an unspecified base.

What Washington Crossing the Delaware Really Looked Like

In 1851, Emanuel Leutze painted General Washington and his army crossing the freezing Delaware River on the night of December 25, 1776 on their way to successfully attack the Hessian mercenary garrison at Trenton, New Jersey. That painting became one of the great icons of American historical art.
It was not, however, an accurate depiction of the event. So artist Mort Kunstler completed detailed research on the actual crossing and cataloged the errors in Leutze’s painting. Then he created the above painting, which he thinks best represents that frozen night’s journey across the river.
delaware-500x331.jpg

How Your Bags See Air Travel
So what happens to your bags after they get tossed on the conveyor belt? Well based on this video surprisingly few gorilla attacks and sexual assaults.
Update: The video was made by Delta so all the good stuff was edited out.

Porn Star or Sex Doll?
Can you spot the real girls?

riddle_01.jpg

Weekly AoSHQ Commenter Standings
Top 10 commenters:
1 [664 comments] 'Tammy al' Thor' [93.17 posts/day]
2 [394 comments] 'CoolCzech'
3 [385 comments] 'chemjeff'
4 [340 comments] 'Robert'
5 [305 comments] 'AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) says 'No' to RINO Romney'
6 [251 comments] 'Vic'
7 [246 comments] 'Joffen'
8 [239 comments] 'Dave'
9 [231 comments] 'soothsayer'
10 [212 comments] 'tasker'

Honorable Mention
20 [159 comments] 'ace'

Top 10 sockpuppeteers:
1 [47 names] 'kbdabear' [6.60 unique names/day]
2 [46 names] '18-1'
3 [41 names] 'andycanuck'
4 [34 names] 'Beefy Meatball'
5 [33 names] 'billygoat'

6 [27 names] 'NC Ref'
7 [24 names] 'nickless'
8 [22 names] 'CoolCzech'
9 [21 names] 'al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist'
10 [20 names] 'toby928▒'

The group. Yeah.

Tonight's post brought to you by Roald Dahl and Hemingway:

Roald_dahl_and_hemingway.jpg

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to maetenloch at gmail. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

digg this
posted by Maetenloch at 08:57 PM

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