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November 08, 2011

"Toure" and Other MSNBC Idiots: Boy, Those Conservatives Are Going To Freak When They Find Out Their Nice Nonthreatening Black Man Herman Cain May Have Hit on A White Woman

Um, given that I've been in a bitter argument with the people he'd like to brand as racially bigoted for like a week, and they're reloading, not retreating, this is obviously false.

(By the way, many of them think Herman Cain might have schnorked this woman, so it's not just the case that they're defending him so long as he didn't touch a White Woman. I've seen twenty comments of the type, "So he got picked off trying to steal third base! Big deal! That's not harassment, that's hustle!")

But what else do they have? Race race race. Black good white bad. But oh by the way don't judge people on the color of their skin, H8r.

No offense, but I'm going to say something that would be racist if it weren't true. Toure is a fucking illiterate. He only has his job because he is black. Furthermore, I gotta tell ya, if you're a black commentator and your only expertise is being black, I've got three words for you: Expand your ambition. Unfurl those golden wings and fly, baby!

This is why Barack Obama was considered an acceptable black candidate whereas Jesse Jackson Jr. was not. Because at least Barack Obama attempted an expertise (fake) in foreign policy, with his dopey law he never shut up about about policing nuclear weapons trading. (I think he did that with Coburn. It was too steps removed from a Flag Day bill in terms of contentiousness -- no one's anti-policing nuclear weapons.)

Whereas Jesse Jackson Jr. seemed to have one area of expertise -- the Civil Rights Movement (and related fields of agitation/organization). Which is kind of a masters degree in Being Black.

And, like, he is black. That's like me claiming an expertise in being an asshole.

So, look, Toure? You're illiterate. Your "column" reads like it was written by a fifth grader, with its inelegant sentences and tasteless attempts to insert SAT Builder Words you are plainly not comfortable with ("unctuous?"). You're on TV to "give a black perspective," an expertise you earned by successfully navigating the birth canal.

You're three tits short of being Meghan McCain.

Since, Toure, you're supposedly reporting on the reaction of Cain supporters, was it too much to ask that you actually contact some? Rather than just making shit up?

I guess so. But that's why you're "Black Perspective Commentator Toure" and not, say, "Policy Wonk and Meticulous Researcher Toure."

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posted by Ace at 04:25 PM

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